Whale Song rewrite continues.

Level 0/PRACTICE_WHALESONG.ink

@@ -7,25 +7,35 @@
 #AddChar: Fern, Pose: instrument_holding
 #AddChar: Akai, Pose: instrument_holding
 
-VEZ: Okay, we're booked for the <i>Float the Vote Festival</i> at Erosion.
+VEZ: Okay, we're booked for the <i>Blow Your Own Hole Festival</i> at Erosion.
 
 FERN: Erosion? Is that the cave club? I'd love to ROCK a cave! (laughs)
 
 MICAH: I hate to endorse any pun, but yeah. The acoustics are perfect.
 
-FERN: And it's on the water so the whales can come to the show!
+SKYLER: And loud! Shows at Erosion can been heard across the whole city.  
 
-SKYLER: That'd be the "Float" part of the Festival. 
+FERN: Yes! I heard a whale choir practicing the other night. So beautiful! 
+FERN: I only wish I knew what they were singing. 
 
-VEZ: Voting rights for whales would be a significant step toward global equality.
+SKYLER: Vez can be your translator. 
 
-MICAH: And whales make better choices than humans do. They should get to vote.
+FERN: VEZ, YOU SPEAK WHALEISH?!!!
 
-SKYLER: They will. No one is trying to stop it. So our song will be a sure hit!
+VEZ: A bit. I took lessons in school, but my intonation was always a little too pitched.
+
+MICAH: Every human's intonation is too pitched; we're not whales. It's just cool you understand the language.
+
+FERN: SO COOL!
+
+MICAH: Whales are smart. We should all listen to what they have to say. 
+
+SKYLER: No one disagrees with that. So our song supporting whale voices will be a sure hit! 
 
 Vez bristles...
 
     + (SLIDE)... but says nothing and lets Skyler's comment slide.
+    
     + ... and decides to put Skyler in her place.
 
         VEZ: Nothing's a sure thing, Skyler.
@@ -73,12 +83,12 @@ AKAI: I've already created two complete percussion tracks. You humans will need
     + [PLAY STEM A]
         ~ drums_whalesong = "Human" 
         #PlayMusic: drums_whalesong_human
-        AKAI: {&It's a "shore party" because humans make the rules!|Humans would like this beat best.} 
+        AKAI: {&It's a "shore party" because humans run the world.|Humans would like this beat best.} 
         -> STEMS_DRUMS
     + [PLAY STEM B]
         ~ drums_whalesong = "Whaleish" 
         #PlayMusic: drums_whalesong_whaleish
-        AKAI: {&If Whales made the rules, I think they'd like these drums best.|I hope the whale vote changes things.}
+        AKAI: {&If whales had a say, I think they'd like these drums best.|Sounds like whales shakin' things up!}
         -> STEMS_DRUMS
     + [PREVIOUS CHARACTER]
         -> STEMS_BASS
@@ -98,7 +108,7 @@ AKAI: I've already created two complete percussion tracks. You humans will need
     + [PLAY STEM B] #Mood=
         ~ guitar_whalesong = "Whaleish" 
         #PlayMusic: guitar_whalesong_whaleish
-        SKYLER: {&A whaley riff says I care about the message more than myself.|This riff isn't as exciting as the solo.|Whaley riff over solo will prove to Vez I've changed.}
+        SKYLER: {&This riff isn't as exciting as the solo.|Whaley riff over solo will prove to Vez I've changed.|A whaley riff says I care about the message more than myself.}
         -> STEMS_GUITAR
     + [PREVIOUS CHARACTER]
         -> STEMS_DRUMS
@@ -139,7 +149,7 @@ AKAI: I've already created two complete percussion tracks. You humans will need
     + [PLAY STEM B]
         ~ keys_whalesong = "Whaleish" 
         #PlayMusic: keys_whalesong_whaleish
-        FERN: {&Synthesized whale sounds are so cool!|No such thing as too much whale!|THIS will Float the Vote!}
+        FERN: {&Synthesized whale sounds are so cool!|No such thing as too much whale!|THIS will blow them out of the water! In the best way.}
         -> STEMS_KEYS
     + [PREVIOUS CHARACTER]
         -> STEMS_VOCALS
@@ -191,25 +201,41 @@ AKAI: I've already created two complete percussion tracks. You humans will need
 #AddChar: Akai, Pose: instrument_holding
 
 { vocals_whalesong == "Whaleish":
-    FERN: Vez! Are you singing WHALEISH?! 
+    FERN: Vez! Your Whaleish sounds AMAZING!!!
     
-    VEZ: Yes, though I'm a bit rusty.
+    VEZ: Thanks. Though the whales might roast my pronunciation.
-    
-    FERN: It sounds AMAZING!!!
     
 - else:
     MICAH: Not bad, everyone.
     
     SKYLER: {SLIDE:Like I said, surefire hit!|Yeah. Nobody phoned it in.}
     
-    FERN: It's good, but... Vez? Did you sing a different part that sounded super whaley?
+    FERN: It's good, but... Vez? Didn't I hear you singing some Whaleish lyrics?
     
-    VEZ: Yeah, I was playing around with some Whaleish lyrics. 
+    VEZ: Yeah, I was playing around, but I don't think my pronunciation was right. 
-    
-    FERN: You speak WHALEISH?! That's SO COOL!
 }
 
-SKYLER: It's risky. Most people can't understand Whaleish. 
+    + MICAH: The whales will appreciate that you tried.
+    
+        SKYLER: (laughs) And everyone else will just think you're possessed!
+        
+        Everyone glares at Skyler.
+        
+        SKYLER: What? Nobody jokes about being possessed by a whale ghost anymore?
+        
+        MICAH: That was never a thing. 
+        
+        FERN: I know you're being mean, Skyler, but you've actually given Vez a compliment! 
+        FERN: Vez's Whaleish is so good it sounds exactly like a whale! 
+    
+    + FERN: Maybe we can invite a whale to be a guest vocalist.
+    
+        VEZ: Oh really? You think we should have a token whale in our band?
+        
+        Awkward moment with Fern's idol! As per Mir's suggestion. 
+    - 
+    //revise everything below too...
+SKYLER: But most people at the show won't understand Whaleish.
 
 AKAI: MAKE THEM LEARN!
 

OPENING.ink

@@ -31,8 +31,8 @@ MICAH: I haven't played that song since I was in school.
 
 FERN: You were in school when it came out? What was it like to LIVE HISTORY?!
 
-MICAH: Woah, woah. "Bandocracy" is 67 years old. I meant I learned it in music class.
+MICAH: Woah, woah. "Bandocracy" is 50 years old. I meant I learned it in music class.
-//HJ: I'm splitting the difference, Miriam. Let's say the song is 67 years old - less than 100, but more than 50. But definitely not 150 for reasons I explained on the World page. 
+ 
 FERN: Oh, right! Sorry. 
 
 MICAH: All good. I'll probably forget about this anyway. Because old. SO old. 

PLAYLIST.ink

@@ -16,7 +16,6 @@
         Before writing your first song, you gotta book your first show! 
         In the Bandocracy, concerts are put on for a cause, with bands performing songs about the cause. 
         So, you need to know the cause before writing a song.
-        
         - L0_song == "Whale Song":
         Poster of Show
         Details of Show - location (Erosion) and cause ("Blow Your Own Hole Festival")
@@ -133,13 +132,13 @@
 = CHOOSE_SHOW_L0
 #UI: playlist/shows_L0
 
-    + [SELECT "FLOAT THE VOTE" POSTER]
+    + [SELECT "BLOW YOUR OWN HOLE" POSTER]
 
-    FLOAT THE VOTE FESTIVAL
+    BLOW YOUR OWN HOLE FESTIVAL
     Venue - Erosion
-    Cause - The whales' right to vote in Earth’s elections. 
+    Cause - Support whales having a voice in the Bandocracy! 
     All funds raised go to the Naturals School of Linguistics “Whaleish as a Second Language” program.
-    Sponsored by the Outlook Neighbourhood Association
+    Sponsored by the Outlook Neighbourhood Association in collaboration with the Underwater Citizens.
     -
 
     + [START]