MoodTattoos Draft 2
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@ -102,7 +102,8 @@ SINGER: I heard it from someone who left the cult.
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SINGER: Thanks. I'll try.
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}
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SINGER: She wasn't there. I didn't see her. Why did she write this? #PRIVATE
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SINGER: Was mom at the show?! I didn't see her...#PRIVATE
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SINGER: Why would she write this? #PRIVATE
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//HJ: ^^I think it's more interesting if Singer doesn't know for sure if Mom was there or not. Singer may not have seen Mom, but that doesn't mean Mom wasn't lurking in a dark corner booth or something. And the possibility that Mom might have seen Singer's performance would create stronger emotions in the character.
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+ [SINGER: Maybe this is Mom's way of reaching out.] #PRIVATE
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@ -117,9 +118,9 @@ SINGER: She wasn't there. I didn't see her. Why did she write this? #PRIVATE
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SINGER: My mom is Unvoiced. And this is her handwriting.
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{its_personal:
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GUITARIST: If this whole thing was just to apologize to your mom for leaving her cult... //HJ: I think it will help clarify Guitarist's issue if G's line is specific to the lyrics Singer sang. So, like this...
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GUITARIST: {vocals_moodtattoo == "Pro-Tattoo": says something about that message in relation to mom.| says something about the Anti-Tattoo lyrics message.}
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GUITARIST: ... it didn't work.
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GUITARIST: Was this whole thing just for mom? //HJ: I think it will help clarify Guitarist's issue if G's line is specific to the lyrics Singer sang. So, like this...
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GUITARIST: {vocals_moodtattoo == "Pro-Tattoo": "You don’t have to make your case. Your feelings are literally written on your face". Trying to say "sorry" without saying it?|"Don’t give them devotion. Own your emotions"? Accusing her of being a puppet?}
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GUITARIST: I know you left her cult, but they're still in your head.
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SINGER: In case the rest of you are wondering why I didn't mention this earlier...
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SINGER: This is why. Because {name_guitarist} would use it against me.
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@ -53,11 +53,12 @@ BASSIST: But I'm not into you just going rogue. At all.
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GUITARIST: Yeah... well...
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+ GUITARIST: Glad this went my way. But, I can't admit that... #PRIVATE
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+ [GUITARIST: Glad this went my way. But, I can't admit that...] #PRIVATE
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//HJ: ^^Because of the "I can't admit that...", I assume Guitar doesn't say this line aloud to the others, so put square brackets around it so doesn't show up after it's chosen. As I understand it, the #PRIVATE command keeps the choice private, but doesn't prevent it from showing up in the dialogue box unless we use the square brackets to signify that.
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GUITARIST: I should be happy about this, but I'm not. This is not cool.
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~ mood++
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+ GUITARIST: I'm pissed off. This is personal. #PRIVATE
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+ [GUITARIST: I'm pissed off. This is personal.] #PRIVATE
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//HJ: If the first choice is not said aloud, then this one shouldn't be either.
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GUITARIST: I guess all these votes are bullshit. We can do whatever we want.
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GUITARIST: I'll remember that.
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@ -68,7 +69,7 @@ GUITARIST: Yeah... well...
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{
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- mood == 0: //Bassist and Guitarist had opposite responses and cancelled each other out
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KEYBOARDIST: I don't like this. Can it just be fine and we can move on? I say yes.
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// ~ band_unity +=1 HJ: For Whale Song, Keys smoothing things over felt like it warranted a +1, but Keys would really not be into the Anti Tattoo lyrics, so even though they prompt everyone to move on, I don't think that would raise the band unity in this case. So I've noted this variable out for now. We can come back and reevaluate later when we have all the songs done.
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// ~ band_unity +=1 HJ: For Whale Song, Keys smoothing things over felt like it warranted a +1, but Keys would really not be into the Anti Tattoo lyrics, so even though they prompt everyone to move on, I don't think that would raise the band unity in this case. So I've noted this variable out for now. We can come back and reevaluate later when we have all the songs done. //MK: Yeah, I like that. I felt the same way, but wasn't sure if you wanted to provide that option no matter what. Cool.
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- mood == 2: //mood is positive
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KEYBOARDIST: If you're all okay with this, so am I.
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~ band_unity +=2
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@ -83,10 +84,12 @@ GUITARIST: Yeah... well...
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~ band_unity--
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//MK: I made these a bit less certain, because S didn't want to be pro-tattoo //HJ: Great!
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+ SINGER: This was the only positive option. #PRIVATE
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+ [SINGER: This was the only positive option.] #PRIVATE
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SINGER: Anti-tattoo messages just felt too negative. That's not us.
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+ SINGER: I feel awful. I can't believe I did that. #PRIVATE
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+ [SINGER: I feel awful. I can't believe I did that.] #PRIVATE
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SINGER: I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I was afraid. I'm sorry. //HJ: This response would definitely prompt the question, "What were you afraid of?" Singer doesn't have to answer; we'll find out about their mom later, but someone should at least ask.
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KEYBOARDIST: What were you afraid of?
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SINGER: It doesn't matter. I'm sorry.
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-
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// ~ temp mood = 0 //HJ: In this section, since Keys is not acting as the mood tie breaker, a temp variable doesn't make sense. Simply use the band_unity variable like we did in Whale Song DISSENT_STANCE_HUMAN.
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@ -96,20 +99,20 @@ BASSIST: This isn't what we planned...
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BASSIST: It's our first song. The crowd liked it. We'll outlive it.
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~ band_unity++
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+ BASSIST: And on-stage surprises suck. #PRIVATE
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BASSIST: {name_guitarist} is right. We were surprised. You're lucky we kept playing at all.
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BASSIST: {name_guitarist} is right. You're lucky we kept playing at all.
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~ band_unity--
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-
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+ GUITARIST: I'll be the bigger person, here. #PRIVATE
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+ [GUITARIST: I'll be the bigger person, here.] #PRIVATE
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GUITARIST: One of us has to rise above our petty personal gripes. I'll do it.
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~ band_unity++
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+ GUITARIST: I didn't make this personal, but it is. #PRIVATE
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+ [GUITARIST: I didn't make this personal, but it is.] #PRIVATE
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GUITARIST: We can do whatever we want on stage. {name_singer} showed us that tonight.
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~ its_personal = true
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~ band_unity--
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-
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{its_personal: //HJ: We only need one thing to track this - either a choice label or a variable. I know I made the choice label, but since you set a variable, and that is an easier thing to track across the larger script, let's use the variable and cut the label. BTW, conditions are automatically checking if boolean variables are TRUE, so you don't need to write {its_personal == true: like you would for a string variable.
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{its_personal: //HJ: We only need one thing to track this - either a choice label or a variable. I know I made the choice label, but since you set a variable, and that is an easier thing to track across the larger script, let's use the variable and cut the label. BTW, conditions are automatically checking if boolean variables are TRUE, so you don't need to write {its_personal == true: like you would for a string variable. //MK: Got it.
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KEYBOARDIST: We did what we wanted to do. We made people happy. Can we please focus on that?
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GUITARIST: Yeah. Well, I can. I won't speak for anyone else.
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- else:
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@ -200,7 +203,9 @@ DRUMMER: WE'RE NOT TOO LOUD. YOU'RE TOO OLD!
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DRUMMER: (sigh) I'm ready to go whenever you are.
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//NOTE: The team doesn't have time to design a social media interface for the CMF demo, so what I've done here is just split the characters out into their own screens and we'll write this as if they're on their devices reading the comments.
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But instead of leaving, everyone pulls out their phones... //HJ: Added a description line here. Feel free to funny it up; we just need to signify that the band ignores Akai's suggestion to leave and starts scrolling instead.
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KEYBOARDIST: Okay. We just...need to scroll, first...
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//HJ: Added a description line here. Feel free to funny it up; we just need to signify that the band ignores Akai's suggestion to leave and starts scrolling instead. //MK: replaced the description with a line of dialogue. Will we have description? If so, what rules will it have? Just for transitions?
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#SPLITFLOW
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{
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@ -221,7 +221,7 @@ KEYBOARDIST: I wish I was old enough to get a tattoo. I wish I could lie about b
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~ vote_songstance_antitattoo = 0
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//Reset votes ^ and send players back to VOTE...
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#PlayerControlUntil: VoteComplete, JumpToPath: PRACTICE_whalesong.VOTE_RESULTS
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#PlayerControlUntil: VoteComplete, JumpToPath: PRACTICE_moodtattoos.VOTE_RESULTS
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+ [Vote again!]
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-> VOTE
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@ -263,15 +263,15 @@ DRUMMER: You're telling people to Come Get a Mood Tattoo!
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= SINGER_FEELS_COMEGET
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+ [I can't do that.]
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SINGER: I don't want to sing something I don't believe in. And I definitely don't want to help the Unvoiced. #THOUGHT
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+ [I'll make this my own.] //MK: I'm thinking this can be a choice reaction, but it's still not really going to work out later... //HJ: For sure, but the wording of this makes it sound as if Singer is going to break ranks a bit, like Singer isn't a team player. But I think what Singer really means is, "I don't like it, but I'll work with it." Shorter version: "I can work with that." As opposed to the first choice which is a blunt refusal.
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+ [I can work with that.]
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SINGER: I don't like it... but I don't have to say The Unvoiced are lovable. #THOUGHT
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+ [I'll make this my own.] //MK: I'm thinking this can be a choice reaction, but it's still not really going to work out later... //HJ: For sure, but the wording of this makes it sound as if Singer is going to break ranks a bit, like Singer isn't a team player. But I think what Singer really means is, "I don't like it, but I'll work with it." Shorter version: "I can work with that." As opposed to the first choice which is a blunt refusal. //MK: Tried this, but "work with it" and "make it my own" are kinda the same.
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SINGER: I'll make mood tattoos sound like a communication tool. Not a replacement for spoken words. #THOUGHT
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-
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{DRUMMER_CHOICE:
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SINGER: I should have rigged this vote. #THOUGHT
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//HJ: Hmm... it's not the vote but Akai's random shuffle program that Singer should have rigged. Something about wishing they'd preprogammed Akai to choose DON'T Get a Tattoo.
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SINGER: I should have programmed Akai to "randomly" vote my way... #THOUGHT
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//HJ: Hmm... it's not the vote but Akai's random shuffle program that Singer should have rigged. Something about wishing they'd preprogammed Akai to choose DON'T Get a Tattoo. //MK: rig the vote, and you don't get to Akai at all, though.
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}
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-> MOODTATTOOS_STEMS
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@ -342,8 +342,8 @@ DRUMMER: Tell people NOT to get a mood tattoo!
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+ [That's a relief.]
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SINGER: I didn't want to sing something I don't feel. #THOUGHT
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+ [I'm going to make this hurt.] //HJ: As a choice, this line is a bit too vague to mean anything to the player. Try something more specific, like, "Time to hit back at The Unvoiced!" so that players know what this choice means and why they'd choose it.
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SINGER: This isn't how I thought I'd hit back at the Unvoiced, but I'll take it. #THOUGHT
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+ [Time to hit back at The Unvoiced!] //HJ: As a choice, this line is a bit too vague to mean anything to the player. Try something more specific, like, "Time to hit back at The Unvoiced!" so that players know what this choice means and why they'd choose it.
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SINGER: This isn't how I thought I'd get revenge on The Unvoiced, but I'll take it. #THOUGHT
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+ [I'm worried this is too negative.]
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SINGER: I hope I can still make "don't do this" sound fun. #THOUGHT
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-
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@ -618,7 +618,7 @@ SINGER: Rude. I guess it's our turn, now.
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HJ: I renamed all the stem choices to make it clear that they are simple visual buttons, not text choices. Also, I've learned that in the UX code, Keana names the buttons whatever we put between these square brackets, so short and sweet and consistent across songs & levels is best!
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HJ: Now that you know the buttons won't have bespoke text lines on them, a few of the character thoughts need to be revised to respond to the SOUND of the music stem, rather than the stem's description (which players can't see). So, Keyboardist's responses are perfect: "This is a sound for a brighter world!" or "This one is sneaky." <- Okay, maybe I'd revise that to "This sounds sneaky." But Singer's first thought, "I can't help the Unvoiced with this." doesn't really make sense as a first response. Nor does Guitarist's "Maybe something downbeat?" <- That one's an easy fix; you could simply add, "Too wistful." to the beginning of that line. So, go through and revise the character's reactions to their musical parts. And remember, we can't predict what order players will press the buttons in, or how often. In other words, there's no guarantee they'll press A first, so B shouldn't call out how B sounds in comparison to A, or vice versa.
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HJ: Now that you know the buttons won't have bespoke text lines on them, a few of the character thoughts need to be revised to respond to the SOUND of the music stem, rather than the stem's description (which players can't see). So, Keyboardist's responses are perfect: "This is a sound for a brighter world!" or "This one is sneaky." <- Okay, maybe I'd revise that to "This sounds sneaky." But Singer's first thought, "I can't help the Unvoiced with this." doesn't really make sense as a first response. Nor does Guitarist's "Maybe something downbeat?" <- That one's an easy fix; you could simply add, "Too wistful." to the beginning of that line. So, go through and revise the character's reactions to their musical parts. And remember, we can't predict what order players will press the buttons in, or how often. In other words, there's no guarantee they'll press A first, so B shouldn't call out how B sounds in comparison to A, or vice versa. /MK: got it. I was also trying to make some of the thoughts sound like they were just coming to the characters. If they sound like they're listening to something they've already done, the way the player is, as opposed to composing it based on how they want it to sound, it doesn't make sense. Hopefully, these changes work.
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*/
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@ -626,12 +626,12 @@ HJ: Now that you know the buttons won't have bespoke text lines on them, a few o
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+ [PLAY-A] //Encourage Mood Tattoos
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#PlayMusic: vocals_moodtattoo_pro
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//HJ: Idea! Singer's thoughts could be a little like they're humming the lyrics to themselves and reacting directly to them. For example, SINGER: "We’re taking care of you..." Ugh. Are we, though?
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SINGER: {&I can't help the Unvoiced with this.|So, I'll preach communication.|People can see each other, and still talk to each other.|I'm still not sure about this.}
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//HJ: Idea! Singer's thoughts could be a little like they're humming the lyrics to themselves and reacting directly to them. For example, SINGER: "We’re taking care of you..." Ugh. Are we, though? //MK: Yeah. We should do this for all of the lyrics.
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SINGER: {&"...we're taking care of you"... but, who's we?|"Emotion should be certain..." So...maybe talk about it, too...|"Everyone will be in sync..." but hopefully not silent.|It sounds nice, but I don't know about this.}
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-> VOCAL_STEMS
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+ [PLAY-B] //Hate On Mood Tattoos
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#PlayMusic: vocals_moodtattoo_anti
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SINGER: {&People _should_ be afraid of these tattoos.|We should ask _why_ they exist in the first place.|This company doesn't do anything else. What do they want?|Maybe we can force the Unvoiced to admit their role.}
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SINGER: {&"Don't get a mood tattoo...they are watching you..." No point in being subtle.|"Don't let them inscribe it". Yeah. They decide how your feelings look.| Going after their corporation is a good idea.|"Don't drink their kool-aid?" Well, not subtle is not subtle.}
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-> VOCAL_STEMS
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+ [CHOOSE-A] //Choose Come Get a Mood Tattoo.
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~ vocals_moodtattoo = "Pro-Tattoo"
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@ -644,11 +644,11 @@ HJ: Now that you know the buttons won't have bespoke text lines on them, a few o
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+ [PLAY-A] //Play a wistful guitar.
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#PlayMusic: guitar_moodtattoo_pro
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GUITARIST: {&Maybe something downbeat?|How you feel when you miss something.|Wow, cheer up, {name_guitarist}. This is the positive one.|Well, people _will_ have to apologize for their moods.}
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GUITARIST: {&|People will want to hear the "community"...| This has a good "let's get together" energy.| Everything will be nice 'n easy. Wow, that sounds boring.| It's hard to make "everybody show their feelings" exciting.}
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-> GUITAR_STEMS
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+ [PLAY-B] //Play moody guitar.
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#PlayMusic: guitar_moodtattoo_anti
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GUITARIST: {&Okay...I want to warn people.|This is serious. It's real. It's for everyone to see.|No more secrets with a mood tattoo.|We all have something to hide.}
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GUITARIST: {&A little "WOWwowoooo' is pretty sinister.|Yeah, it needs to sound serious, not soothing.| Gotta highlight the warning vibe.|...but not be too scary. It's gotta sound cool. }
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-> GUITAR_STEMS
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+ [CHOOSE-A] //Choose wistful riff.
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~ guitar_moodtattoo = "Pro-Tattoo"
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+ [PLAY-A] //Play stealthy bass.
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#PlayMusic: bass_moodtattoo_pro
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BASSIST: #PlayMusic: vocals_whalesong_human
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SINGER: {&Nice and subtle. Then...surprise!|Everyone else is here. And you can see what they feel.|Be sure it's what you want, because it's a bigger deal than you think.}
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BASSIST: {&We want people to get tattoos NOW.| Something simple to support the lyrics...| Keep the energy up for the CEOs. Energy means profit!| And, surprise! Your face shows your lies! Run.}
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-> BASS_STEMS
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+ [PLAY-B] //Play insistent bass.
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#PlayMusic: bass_moodtattoo_anti
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BASSIST:{&What if something's chasing you?|Are you sure it's what you want?|It's a bigger deal than you think.|It's not jsut for you...it's for everyone else.}
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BASSIST:{&Sounds like something is chasing me.| Uh-oh. I might not get what I want...|...maybe I'm the one running. Away from something.|Yeah. This says "don't let it get you".}
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-> BASS_STEMS
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+ [CHOOSE-A] //Choose stealthy bass.
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~ bass_moodtattoo = "Pro-Tattoo"
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+ [PLAY-A] //Play an aspirational tune.
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#PlayMusic: keys_moodtattoo_pro
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KEYBOARDIST: {&This is a sound for a brighter world!|Something to be part of!|Yeah, this sounds the way a positive choice feels.|No one will be alone.}
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KEYBOARDIST: {&This is a sound for a brighter world!|I want to be part of this...|Yeah, this sounds the way a positive choice feels.|We're saying "no one will be alone".}
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-> KEYS_STEMS
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+ [PLAY-B] //Play a sneaky tune.
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#PlayMusic: keys_moodtattoo_anti
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KEYBOARDIST: {&This one is sneaky.|It isn't really about the tattoos.| It's about what's inside you.| And maybe you're afraid of that? Oh, no!}
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KEYBOARDIST: {&This one sounds sneaky.|This makes me wonder why mood tattoos even exist.| I'm kinda worried playing this.| This would scare people. But, do I want that?}
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-> KEYS_STEMS
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+ [CHOOSE-A] //Choose aspirational tune.
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~ keys_moodtattoo = "Pro-Tattoo"
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@ -736,7 +735,7 @@ BASSIST: This is cool. I thought you'd have a conspiracy angle. Let's expose it.
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= COME_GET_TATTOO
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SINGER: I'm sorry. This is the best I can do. I can't sing what I don't believe, so this is what's left.
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BASSIST: It's good. Feels like a hug. And some greasy bastards will be lired in and exposed. //HJ: lired??
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BASSIST: It's good. Feels like a hug. And some greasy bastards will be lured in and exposed. //HJ: lired??
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KEYBOARDIST: I love it! And just because of the hug thing. Not the greasy bastard thing.
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@ -847,4 +846,4 @@ KEYBOARDIST: Has anyone played that place before?
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BASSIST: Yeah. It's... kinda grumpy. But fun. If you're grumpy.
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KEYBOARDIST: ... Oh.
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-> PERFORMANCE_WHALESONG
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-> PERFORMANCE_MOODTATTOOS
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