All Scripts for Level 0 (Whale Song) are written, though a couple short sections at the end are still just paraphrased.

HARMONY.ink

@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@
     Someone also comments that they were so excited to see Skyler back on stage with her signature rocking guitar!
     Next comment - Skyler AND Vez on stage, together again! 
     Gossip ensues - Will Vez and Skyler rekindle their romance??? Or will they keep it professional in this new band? Place your bets!
-    Fern (the band's keyboardist) places a bet!!! (Fun way to show that Fern was perusing the Harmony server right after the band got off stage.)
+    Fern (the band's keyboardist) places a bet!!! (Fun way to show that Fern was perusing the Harmony server right after the band got off stage.) If the Skyler_growth variable is >= 0, Fern bets on them! If it's < 0, Fern doesn't think they'll rekindle romance.
     Muhammad Smith (All For All's favourite bureaucritic) posts a glowing review of "Whale Song" and writes that humans are open to listening to whale songs, but haven’t committing to appointing a whale bureaucritic. They’re not saying "no", they’re just saying "not yet". 
 - else: //Whaleish lyrics
     They all believe in total equality for all sentient beings while respecting other beings’ unique cultures, but Whaleish is so hard and they haven’t learned how to speak it.
@@ -73,7 +73,8 @@
 //Because this community only opens up for one song, "Whale Song in Whaleish", we don't need to check the L0_song variable.
 //Miriam had a funny idea that the Whaleish is all in morse code, but then we can't show what the whales are saying! Maybe there's a TRANSLATE button, or some indication that the Harmony app automatically translates for you (like most apps do already).
 The whales appreciated Vez singing in their language, even if Vez's intonation was a little off. At least Vez knows Whaleish and showed that Whaleish songs should be included in the Bandocracy. 
-Whales are already singing Whale Song across the oceans, spreading the legend of a new band who dares to challenge the status quo! In less than an hour, the song reached a critical mass, and the government appointed its first ever whale bureaucritic - Baby Beluga. 
+Whales are already singing Whale Song across the oceans, spreading the legend of a new band who dares to challenge the status quo! 
+In less than an hour, {band_name}'s song reached a critical mass, and the government appointed its first ever whale bureaucritic - Baby Beluga. 
 
     -> HARMONY
     
@@ -100,6 +101,7 @@ Whales are already singing Whale Song across the oceans, spreading the legend of
 === DM_MICAH_FERN ===
 #UI: harmony/dm_micah_fern
 //Private messages between Micah and Fern.
+First DM between Fern and Micah - quick hello to begin their ace relationship.
     -> HARMONY
 
     

Level 0/POSTSHOW_WHALESONG.ink

@@ -73,7 +73,7 @@ AKAI: Get over yourself. Thumbs aren't necessary in a voice-controlled world.
 
 MICAH: The whales have been on Harmony for a while, they just needed us to listen to their ideas.
 
-FERN: And now we are! 
+FERN: And now we're listening! 
 
 SKYLER: Not that you understand what the whales are saying. 
 
@@ -81,6 +81,7 @@ FERN: I will soon! I'm signing up for Whaleish lessons RIGHT NOW.
 FERN: Want me to sign you up too?
 
     + SKYLER: Sure. Personal growth is part of my comeback.
+        ~ Skyler_growth++
         
     + SKYLER: Nah. I'm not a linguist like Vez.
     -
@@ -88,47 +89,139 @@ FERN: Want me to sign you up too?
     -> RELATIONSHIP
 
 = IDEALISTS
-If the song lyrics were in human language only, they gained fans from the All For All community! And criticism from the Naturals who think they should have included Whaleish lyrics.
+//HJ: I'm running out of time so I just paraphrased this section...
+Vez is annoyed that people are placing bets on whether they and Skyler will get back together.
 
-Plus, they've already heard rumours about how their song is already affecting the world!
+{Skyler_growth >= 0:
+    Like Fern, who bet that they'd get back together. 
+    What? Fern just really wants them to give love a second chance! They were such a hot couple!
+- else:
+    Fern bet that Vez and Skyler wouldn't get back together.
+    Vez says that was a smart bet.
+    Onmniscent narrator comments that Skyler looks disappointed but also determined.
+}
 
-end of scene = the band's first song has everyone thinking tey'e iconoclasts
+Fern directs the band back to the bright side - <i>All For All</i> REALLY LOVED Whale Song.
 
-Sets up context (based on world outcome band stance) for the next Song Choice.
+Micah points out that their song didn't convince the bureaucritics to change anything, though. 
+The whales still aren't part of the Bandocracy.
+
+Fern - not yet! They still could be. Sometime... soonish?
 
     -> RELATIONSHIP
 
 = RELATIONSHIP
 #PlaySFX: Akai_excited
-DRUMMER: THERE IS NO ENCORE! //haha!
+AKAI: THERE IS NO ENCORE! 
-DRUMMER: (sigh) Time to go. I'm not programmed to pack up the gear, by the way.
+AKAI: (sigh) Time to go. I'm not programmed to pack up the gear, by the way.
 
-In later levels, will check a variable here to see if a relationship is in the works, but for this first one, it's Vez and Skyler hanging back to talk after Micah and Fern exit.
+#RemChar: Akai
 
-Relationship plot notes -- in the old script, fans didn't notice the guitar solo because of the Whaleish lyrics, and this put Skyler in a funk. It's also a key talking point in Skyler and Vez's convo coming up next. So put that info in Harmony?
+Once the others finish packing up...
 
-    + Go for a drink.
+MICAH: You need a ride, kid?
+
+FERN: Depends what you're driving!
+
+MICAH: Cargo trike. Bucket's got a padded seat and everything. 
+
+FERN: YES! Can I ring the bell?!
+
+MICAH: No.
+
+FERN: Fair. I probably can't reach it from the bucket seat anyway.
+
+MICAH: No, you can't. Let's go.
+
+FERN: Bye, Vez! Bye, Skyler! 
+
+#RemChar: Micah
+#RemChar: Fern
+
+As Fern skips out after Micah, Skyler turns to Vez.
+
+VEZ: No.
+
+SKYLER: I haven't even said anything yet!
+
+VEZ: The answer is still no.
+
+SKYLER: But I'm not asking a question! I just want to tell you that...
+SKYLER: I've changed. I'm not the same shallow fame-seeker I was before.
+
+{guitar_whalesong == "Human":
+    VEZ: That guitar solo you busted out tonight begs to differ.
+
+- else:
+    VEZ: I can tell you're trying. I noticed that restrained guitar riff you played tonight.
+    VEZ: But people who've changed don't just say, "I've changed."
+}
+
+VEZ: Besides, you know the real issue was never your love of the spotlight.
+
+SKYLER: (sighs) I know, but I'm not like you. I don't know what "causes" to support!
+
+VEZ: It's not a right or wrong answer. Not really. 
+VEZ: But if you're in a band, you need to care about the world and what's happening in it, one way or the other. 
+
+    + SKYLER: I don't know how to do that.
+        SKYLER: Can you help me?
+        
+        VEZ: I can't make you care about stuff, Skyler. You need to take an interest in things outside of yourself.
+        
+        ++ SKYLER: But I do!
+            -> TEST_SKYLER 
+            
+        ++ SKYLER: I'll try. 
+            SKYLER: Guess I should start watching the news?
+            
+            VEZ: That'd be a good start. 
+            -> ASK_VEZ
+        
+    + SKYLER: But I do care!
+        -> TEST_SKYLER
+        
+= TEST_SKYLER
+Vez asks a question that tests Skyler's knowledge about the whales' cause to be part of the Bandocracy.
+Skyler fails it. She just hasn't been paying attention. But she gets Vez's point and promises to start taking an interest in what's going on in the world. 
+    -> ASK_VEZ
+
+= ASK_VEZ
+
+SKYLER: I want to be a better person, bandmate, maybe even... friend?
+
+VEZ: I'd like that too.
+
+SKYLER: Great! Want to start by getting a drink or something? I know this place just around the corner.
+
+    + VEZ: Sure, I could use a drink.
         ~ L0_drinks = true
-    + No drink.
+        {vocals_whalesong == "Whaleish":
+            VEZ: Singing in Whaleish is hard on the vocal cords.
+            VEZ: So, lead the way!
+        - else:
+            VEZ: It's been a while since I performed in a big venue.
+            VEZ: I forgot how thirsty I get.
+            
+            SKYLER: I'm always thirst-- Nevermind. Forget I was about to say that.
+            SKYLER: Okay, so, follow me! 
+        }
+    + VEZ: Nope, I'm not falling for that again.
         ~ L0_drinks = false
+        VEZ: Let's keep things professional between us.
+        
+        SKYLER: Aren't "professional drinks between colleagues" a thing?
+        
+        VEZ: Not with you they're not. Goodnight, Skyler.
     -
     
-//The player doesn't follow the characters on this drinks date.
+#RemChar: Vez
+#RemChar: Skyler
 
-~ DM_micah_fern_L0 = true
+    -> REWARD_SCREEN
-// ^This unlocks the beginning of the DM conversation between Micah and Fern.
+    
+=== REWARD_SCREEN ===
 
-#HarmonyNotification
+We've not designed this yet. Keana has a rough mock up on Miro. I think that if we end each level at a Reward Screen, we should start the new day with a brief SCENE in the Practice Space, rather than dropping players into the PLAYLIST, which is what it looks like now on the Miro board. 
-// ^Shows the player there are new messages available.
-// Because DM conversations between characters are mandatory, the player must click to go to Harmony.
 
-First DM between Fern and Micah - quick hello to begin their ace relationship. 
+    -> PRACTICE_L1
-
-//At the end of the DMs, a DM between Vez and Skyler can become available too. One in which they went for drinks, and one in which they didn't. 
-
-    + [HARMONY]
-        -> HARMONY ->
-    + [GOODNIGHT]
-    -
-
-    -> PLAYLIST

Level 0/PRACTICE_WHALESONG.ink

@@ -38,6 +38,7 @@ Vez bristles...
         New band, fresh start, no more drama with Skyler. Vez can do that, right?
     
     + ... and decides to put Skyler in her place.
+        Like Vez should've done the first time they were in a band together.
 
         VEZ: Nothing's a sure thing, Skyler.
             
@@ -47,17 +48,18 @@ Vez bristles...
         VEZ: Every song matters, even if the cause has broad support.
         
         ++ SKYLER: I NEVER phone it in! I'm 100% ON STAGE all the time! 
-        
+            ~ Skyler_growth--
+            
             VEZ: I didn't mean your stage presence, I meant writing the song.
         
         ++ SKYLER: You're right. I promise I'll give this song my all.
-        
+            ~ Skyler_growth++
+            
             VEZ: I'm... right?
             
             SKYLER: Yep.
             
-            That earns Skyler a cautious smile from Vez. Skyler plays it cool, but inside her heart's singing. 
+            That earns Skyler a cautious smile from Vez. Skyler plays it cool, but inside her heart's doing backflips. 
-            ~ know_skyler_wants_second_chance = true
         --
     -
     
@@ -190,10 +192,22 @@ AKAI: I've already created two complete percussion tracks. You humans will need
         -> CREATE_SONG
         
 = SONG_JAM
-#PlayMusic: L0_stem_selections
-//Band plays a short segment of the song! How else will they discuss it? Not the whole song (I knew Mir wants that to be a fun reveal in the PERFORMANCE setion), but at least a section where the Vocals can be in human and/or Whaleish. 
 #Environment: PracticeSpace 
 
+#AddChar: Vez, Pose: instrument_holding
+#AddChar: Skyler, Pose: instrument_holding
+#AddChar: Micah, Pose: instrument_holding
+#AddChar: Fern, Pose: instrument_holding
+#AddChar: Akai, Pose: instrument_holding
+
+AKAI: ONE! EIGHT! FIVE! 
+
+MICAH: Is your personality program messing with your math?
+
+AKAI: ... Let's just jam. 
+
+#PlayMusic: L0_stem_selections
+//Band plays a short segment of the song! How else will they discuss it? Not the whole song (I knew Mir wants that to be a fun reveal in the PERFORMANCE setion), but at least a section where the Vocals can be in human and/or Whaleish. 
 #AddChar: Vez, Pose: instrument_playing
 #AddChar: Skyler, Pose: instrument_playing
 #AddChar: Micah, Pose: instrument_playing
@@ -253,7 +267,7 @@ VEZ: And I don't want my shoddy Whaleish to offend the whales.
             FERN: That's not what I meant.
             
         ++ FERN: Yes? 
-            FERN: ... But not if you don't.
+            FERN: But not if you don't.
         --
         
         SKYLER: It doesn't matter because...
@@ -272,19 +286,19 @@ AKAI: REALITY CHECK! If only <i>some</i> of the lyrics are in Whaleish, humans w
 
 FERN: Yes! Sing some Whaleish! It'll make a big SPLASH! Haha!
 
-MICAH: Easy on the puns, kid. I almost laughed. 
+MICAH: Easy on the puns, Fern. I almost laughed.
 MICAH: But I think your point is that we can't welcome the whales to the Bandocracy if we don't speak their language.
 
-FERN: (starstruck) Wow, yes! Oh my gosh.
+FERN: Wow, yes! Oh my gosh...
     
     + FERN: Do we share the same musical soul?!
     
-        MICAH: Slow down, kid. It's our first practice.
+        MICAH: Slow down. It's our first practice.
         
     + FERN: You are so wise!
     
         MICAH: That's just a nicer way of saying "old".
-        MICAH: I'll take it. 
+        MICAH: But I'll take it. 
     -
 
 VEZ: So, are we changing the song? Or going with what we've got?
@@ -293,11 +307,12 @@ VEZ: So, are we changing the song? Or going with what we've got?
 === SONG_DONE_L0 ===
 #UI: practice/song_created
 
+//NOTE in the UX Storyboard, there are emotion indicators HERE. These made sense for the narrative in the multiplayer version, but I really don't think we need these in the single player version. That's why I haven't put in any variables or hashtags to indicate character moods here. 
+
     + {not EDIT_WHALESONG}[EDIT SONG]
         -> EDIT_WHALESONG
     
     + [HEAD TO SHOW]
-        VEZ: Alright, we've got our first song!
         -> PERFORM_WHALESONG
     
 === EDIT_WHALESONG ===
@@ -308,6 +323,8 @@ VEZ: So, are we changing the song? Or going with what we've got?
 
 //Click on a character or click the FINISH button.
 
+    + [DRUMS]
+        -> STEMS_DRUMS
     + [GUITARIST]
         -> STEMS_GUITAR
     + [SINGER]
@@ -317,7 +334,22 @@ VEZ: So, are we changing the song? Or going with what we've got?
     + [BASSIST]
         -> STEMS_BASS
     + [FINISH]
-        -> SONG_DONE_L0
+        -> SONG_EDITED_L0
+        
+= SONG_EDITED_L0
+#Environment: PracticeSpace 
+
+#AddChar: Vez, Pose: instrument_holding
+#AddChar: Skyler, Pose: instrument_holding
+#AddChar: Micah, Pose: instrument_holding
+#AddChar: Fern, Pose: instrument_holding
+#AddChar: Akai, Pose: instrument_holding
+
+AKAI: SONG DONE!
+
+VEZ: Yep, it has to be. Our time's up in this practice space.
+
+    -> SONG_DONE_L0
     
 = STEMS_DRUMS
 #UI: practice/drums_playing
@@ -383,7 +415,7 @@ VEZ: So, are we changing the song? Or going with what we've got?
 = STEMS_KEYS
 #UI: practice/keys_playing
 
-    + [PLAY STEM A] #Mood-
+    + [PLAY STEM A] 
         ~ keys_whalesong = "Human" 
         #PlayMusic: keys_whalesong_human
         FERN: This sounds good no matter what lyrics Vez chooses.
@@ -408,7 +440,7 @@ VEZ: So, are we changing the song? Or going with what we've got?
          #PlayMusic: bass_whalesong_human
         MICAH: Keep it simple. For the people.
         -> STEMS_BASS
-    + [PLAY STEM B]
+    + [PLAY STEM B] #Mood+
         ~ bass_whalesong = "Whaleish" 
          #PlayMusic: bass_whalesong_whaleish
         MICAH: Make it deep. For the whales.

Level 1/PRACTICE_L1.ink

@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
+=== PRACTICE_L1 ===
+#Environment: PracticeSpace 
+
+This is the next day. Perhaps a couple characters show up earlier? Or as they trickle in, tuning their instruments, notifications for DMs in Harmony pop up.
+
+~ DM_micah_fern_L0 = true
+// ^This unlocks the beginning of the DM conversation between Micah and Fern.
+
+#HarmonyNotification
+// ^Shows the player there are new messages available.
+
+// Because DM conversations between characters are mandatory, the player must click to go to Harmony.
+
+    + [HARMONY]
+        -> HARMONY ->
+
+//A DM between Vez and Skyler can become available too. One in which they went for drinks, and one in which they didn't. 
+
+Then this new day and band practice begins in earnest...
+
+-> DONE //for now

MAIN_Bandocracy.ink

@@ -8,11 +8,14 @@ INCLUDE Level 0/PRACTICE_WHALESONG.ink
 INCLUDE Level 0/PERFORM_WHALESONG.ink
 INCLUDE Level 0/POSTSHOW_WHALESONG.ink
 
+INCLUDE Level 1/PRACTICE_L1.ink
 INCLUDE Level 1/POSTSHOW_L1.ink
 
 INCLUDE Level 2/POSTSHOW_L2.ink
 
 
+
+
 // *** CHARACTER VARIABLES ***
 
 VAR mood_singer = 0
@@ -35,7 +38,7 @@ VAR relationship_guitarist_bassist = "Colleague"
     */
 
 // *** RELATIONSHIP PLOT VARAIBLES ***    
-VAR know_skyler_wants_second_chance = false
+VAR Skyler_growth = 0 //Whenever Skyler makes a positive choice, this goes up +1. When Skyler makes a negative choice, it goes down -1. If the choice is neutral, there's no change.
 VAR L0_drinks = false 
 
 

OPENING.ink

@@ -21,15 +21,15 @@ VEZ: Wow. We nailed "Bandocracy" on our first try!
         
         To be fair, Vez should've known Skyler couldn't resist turning that into a double entendre. 
         Though if Skyler truly wants a second chance with Vez, maybe she should change her tactics. 
-        //HJ: I'm using action lines as the Omniscient Narrator's voice. I tried using thought bubbles to communicate personal character info, like we did in the multiplayer version, but it felt clunky. So I tried this!
+        //HJ: I'm experimenting with action lines as the Omniscient Narrator's voice. I tried using thought bubbles to communicate personal character info, like we did in the multiplayer version, but it felt clunky. So I tried this!
-        ~ know_skyler_wants_second_chance = true
-        //HJ: Also added this to establish that Vez and Skyler have a romantic past that Skyler is interested in rekindling. But because this is in a choice, I'm using a variable to track whether the player knows this. If the player chose Fern's line instead, I'll establish Skyler's intentions later in the script.
         
     + FERN: Best first jam session I've ever heard!
     
         VEZ: Isn't this your very first band?
         
         FERN: (blushes) Yeah, but it's still THE BEST!
+        
+        Fern always dreamed they'd one day be in a band with their idols, now here they are! 
     - 
     //NOTE: The player making choices for all characters and choosing WHO talks (rather than WHAT the PC says) is different for a Bloom game, and we don't have UI for this. But I do think it's neat and was one of the funnest things about that other game we played.
 
@@ -43,7 +43,9 @@ FERN: Oh, right! Sorry.
 
 MICAH: All good. I'll probably forget about this anyway. Because old. SO old. 
 
-FERN: (laughs) 
+Fern laughs, hoping they didn't just offend music legacy Micah.
+Time to change the subject! 
+
 FERN: But, do you think the PolSci Punks knew their song would change the world? 
 
     + SKYLER: When you're THAT good? Yes!
@@ -90,9 +92,9 @@ VEZ: Can we NOT break up the band before we even pick a name?
 
 SKYLER: I'm not breaking up the band. That's a YOU thing.
 
-{know_skyler_wants_second_chance:Yikes! That will NOT earn Skyler a second chance with Vez!}
+Yikes! That low blow won't get Skyler back in Vez's good graces.
 
-VEZ: No, I left. While we were still Fern's favourite band.
+VEZ: No, I simply left. While we were still Fern's favourite band.
 
     + FERN: You did the right thing, Vez! 
         FERN: I wanted to tell you, but didn't want to make things awkward with my first band.
@@ -102,8 +104,9 @@ VEZ: No, I left. While we were still Fern's favourite band.
     -
 
 An awkward silence ensues.
+Micah would stay silent just to see how long it lasts, but the earnest distress on Fern's face moves him to throw them a lifeline...
 
-MICAH: Right. So no breaking up before we give this band a shot.
+MICAH: Right. No breaking up before we give this band a shot.
 
 SKYLER: Yeah, well, this band is my comeback. I won't waste it.
 

PLAYLIST.ink

@@ -137,7 +137,7 @@
     BLOW YOUR OWN HOLE FESTIVAL
     Venue - Erosion
     Cause - Support whales having a voice in the Bandocracy! 
-    All funds raised go to the Naturals School of Linguistics “Whaleish as a Second Language” program.
+    All funds raised go to the Collective School of Linguistics “Whaleish as a Second Language” program.
     Sponsored by the Outlook Neighbourhood Association in collaboration with the Underwater Citizens.
     -