Notes on Mood Tattoos 1st Draft.

Level1/OUTCOME_MOODTATTOOS.ink

@@ -1,7 +1,6 @@
 -> OUTCOME_MOODTATTOOS
 
 === OUTCOME_MOODTATTOOS ===
-
 #Environment: PracticeSpace
 
 SINGER: My 70 year-old neighbour stopped me this morning, to play _our_ song for me.
@@ -9,11 +8,12 @@ SINGER: My 70 year-old neighbour stopped me this morning, to play _our_ song for
     {vocals_moodtattoo == "Pro-Tattoo":
     SINGER: We inspired him to get a mood tattoo. He was so excited to show it off.
     
-    BASSIST: The Mayor was goaded into getting one. They've already been caught lying about libraries and transit. It was hilarious.
+    BASSIST: The Mayor was goaded into getting one. They've already been caught lying about libraries and transit. It was hilarious. //ha!
     
-    KEYBOARDIST: More people have gotten them since our show than had them before. And Barista Beat is reporting a huge drop in coffee shop arguments!
+    KEYBOARDIST: More people have gotten them since our show than had them before. 
+    KEYBOARDIST: And Barista Beat is reporting a huge drop in coffee shop arguments!
     
-    BASSIST: So, everyone's latte is smiling a little wider...
+    BASSIST: So, everyone's latte is smiling a little wider, but...
     
     - else:
     SINGER: He was considering a mood tattoo "to stay young", but we talked him out of it.
@@ -26,12 +26,11 @@ SINGER: My 70 year-old neighbour stopped me this morning, to play _our_ song for
     
    }
 
-   //HJ: Here, add a choice for Bassist to set arc variable. In Whale Song, these arc variables naturally set during the FAN_REACTIONS section, but in Mood Tattoos that didn't seem to work as well to me. So in the Miro, I put the characters' arc variables in the OUTCOME scene, and this is where Bassist's would go. Actually, Keys' arc can be set here too!
+//MK: I put this before the letter. It was clunky the other way. //HJ: Works for me!
-//MK: I put this before the letter. It was clunky the other way.
+//HJ: Another dumb technical note, so sorry. In a single-player game like Cauldron, we can put choices in square brackets that won't be said aloud to other characters, and that's that. BUT since Bandocracy is multiplayer, when players are together in a group scene, we need to put their name in front of the choice so that the engine knows which character to give control of that choice to. Basically, when they're voting or in splitscreen, choices don't need to have their names in front because they already have control of their private space, but when players are together, we have to tell the engine whose choice it is. So I added "BASSIST" to Bassist's choices below. 
 
-  + [Nothing will change.]
+  + [BASSIST: Nothing will change.] #PRIVATE
     BASSIST: ... we're a long way from really changing anything.
-        //HJ: ^^The choice can be private, but Bassist could then say the choice line aloud to everyone else once it's chosen. Hence, no square brackets around this line. However, if you want Bassist to say something different aloud, put square brackets around the choice line. 
         ~ arc_bassist = "cynical"
         
         ++ KEYBOARDIST: So, we shouldn't quit now? I'm sure that's what you mean.
@@ -40,15 +39,15 @@ SINGER: My 70 year-old neighbour stopped me this morning, to play _our_ song for
             ~ arc_keyboardist = "cheerlead"
         --
         
-    + [This is just the beginning.] 
+    + [BASSIST: This is just the beginning.] #PRIVATE
-    BASSIST: ... maybe our song will inspire people to do better. #PRIVATE 
+    BASSIST: ... maybe our song will inspire people to do better.  
         ~ arc_bassist = "hopeful"
-        //HJ: To trigger Keys response to this, someone needs to be a downer! Probably Akai. He's probably disillusioned with humankind.
+    
     DRUMMER: "Better" isn't something that people do.
         
         ++ KEYBOARDIST: Maybe you should control your "negativity" programming, too.
             ~ arc_keyboardist = "police"
-        ++ KEYBOARDIST: Sure it is. Bandocracy proves it! 
+        ++ KEYBOARDIST: Sure it is. Bandocracy proves it! Go team!
             ~ arc_keyboardist = "cheerlead"
         --
     -
@@ -61,9 +60,7 @@ BASSIST: The Unvoiced in attendance "were subjected to unwanted vocal interferen
 
 KEYBOARDIST: The other performances were instrumental and electronic. But, no one said we couldn't sing. Why were they even there?
 
-//MK: You didn't mention when to reveal it, and it was used as Singer's secret in your Miro, so I'll put it here.... 
+SINGER: Probably because... The Unvoiced created Mood Tattoos. 
-SINGER: Probably because... the Unvoiced created Mood Tattoos. 
-//MK: Does feel a bit clunky, though. We should massage the Unvoiced secret. //HJ: Agreed. Let's have one of the characters mention the strange silent people at the event in the POST_PERFORM_MOODTATTOOS scene, to set this up.
 
 {
 - vocals_moodtattoo == "Anti-Tattoo":
@@ -80,7 +77,7 @@ SINGER: Let me see the letter, {name_bassist}.
 
 KEYBOARDIST: The Unvoiced created mood tattoos? Why didn't you tell us? How did you even know?
 
-SINGER: ... this is Mom's handwriting... #PRIVATE 
+SINGER: ... This is Mom's handwriting... #PRIVATE 
 
     + [SINGER: I should tell them.] #PRIVATE
         -> SINGER_REVEALS_MOM
@@ -89,22 +86,24 @@ SINGER: ... this is Mom's handwriting... #PRIVATE
 
 = SINGER_KEEPS_MOM_SECRET
 SINGER: I heard it from someone who left the cult. 
-//MK: I tried to keep the structure from the Whale Song scene so we could keep Guitar outing Singer's mom. In this world, I think Guitar would do that if they felt like Singer "forced" them into supporting mood tattoos as a weak attempt to make things up to mom. Mean! If it doesn't work for you, it can just come out. 
+//MK: how does it feel here? I'm not sure if it's too harsh if G just says it. //HJ: Not too harsh.
-//HJ: That motivation makes sense to me. We'll either need to set a special variable for that (since Guitarist's arc variable is set later in this script), OR you can make this the Guitarist's choice of how to respond. //MK: how does it feel here? I'm not sure if it's too harsh if G just says it. 
+{its_personal: 
-{
-- its_personal == "true": //HJ: Either need a new variable OR turn this Conditional Block into a Choice Block. //MK: just went with this one, linked to PERSONAL. You might want to change where it's set in POST_PERFORMANCE, but there's no error.
     GUITARIST: Or from someone who didn't. Like your mom, maybe.
+    
     BASSIST: {name_singer}, your mom is InDulcet, isn't she? Or, wasn't she, I guess.
-    SINGER: Yeah. She was. Then she gave up her voice and tried to take mine. But, as {name_guitarist} should know, I can still speak for my damn self.
+    
+    SINGER: Yeah. She was. Then she gave up her voice and tried to take mine. 
+    SINGER: But, as {name_guitarist} should know, I can still speak for my damn self.
     ~ band_knows_about_singer_mom = true
-
     -> SINGER_MOM_FEELS
-- else: //MK: Decided just to remove the neutral reply for G. If they aren't pissed, they'd probably care a little.
-    GUITARIST: Don't let that letter bug you. No matter what's in it.
-    SINGER: Thanks. I'll try. //HJ: With Keys and Bassist there, will these messages pass between Singer and Guitarist with simple looks and private thoughts? Since they can't say this aloud and still keep the secret.
     
+- else: 
+    GUITARIST: Don't let that letter bug you. No matter what's in it.
+    
+    SINGER: Thanks. I'll try.
 }
 SINGER: She wasn't there. I didn't see her. Why did she write this? #PRIVATE
+//HJ: ^^I think it's more interesting if Singer doesn't know for sure if Mom was there or not. Singer may not have seen Mom, but that doesn't mean Mom wasn't lurking in a dark corner booth or something. And the possibility that Mom might have seen Singer's performance would create stronger emotions in the character.
 
     + [SINGER: Maybe this is Mom's way of reaching out.] #PRIVATE
         ~ arc_singer = "hopeful"
@@ -116,21 +115,27 @@ SINGER: She wasn't there. I didn't see her. Why did she write this? #PRIVATE
 = SINGER_REVEALS_MOM
 ~ band_knows_about_singer_mom = true
 SINGER: My mom is Unvoiced. And this is her handwriting.
-{
+
-- its_personal == "true": //HJ: Same note as above - need to creat a variable tracking Guitarist's previous response, OR make this a Choice Block for Guitarist to respond now. 
+{its_personal:  
-    GUITARIST: If this whole thing was just to apologize to your mom for leaving her cult... 
+    GUITARIST: If this whole thing was just to apologize to your mom for leaving her cult... //HJ: I think it will help clarify Guitarist's issue if G's line is specific to the lyrics Singer sang. So, like this...
+    GUITARIST: {vocals_moodtattoo == "Pro-Tattoo": says something about that message in relation to mom.| says something about the Anti-Tattoo lyrics message.}
     GUITARIST: ... it didn't work.
+    
     SINGER: In case the rest of you are wondering why I didn't mention this earlier...
     SINGER: This is why. Because {name_guitarist} would use it against me.
+    
 - else:
     GUITARIST: It's been a while since you last heard from her. Are you okay? 
-    SINGER: Yeah, it has. And I don't know. Not yet.
     
+    SINGER: Yeah, it has. And I don't know. Not yet.
 }
 
 BASSIST: Is your mom InDulcet? I remember her leaving the scene. She had a great voice.
+
 SINGER: Yeah, she did. And then she stopped using it. I wouldn't let her stop me from using mine.
+
 BASSIST: I understand why you'd keep that secret. Her shadow must be a long, dark one.
+
 KEYBOARDIST: I've never heard of InDulcet. But I'm glad she couldn't stop you from singing.
     -> SINGER_MOM_FEELS
     
@@ -144,15 +149,15 @@ KEYBOARDIST: I've never heard of InDulcet. But I'm glad she couldn't stop you fr
     -> BASSIST_IMPRESSED
 
 = BASSIST_IMPRESSED
-BASSIST: Whatever else is in that letter... we got a complaint. That means we made an impact. You're voice made an impact, {name_singer}.
+BASSIST: Whatever else is in that letter... we got a complaint. That means we made an impact. Your voice made an impact, {name_singer}.
 
 KEYBOARDIST: Yeah, no one complains if they don't care. Well, I don't complain at all. Too negative. But yes. Impact made.
 
-{its_personal == "false":
+{not its_personal: //HJ: So earlier I left a note about how conditions automatically check if boolean variables are true. To check if they're false, write "not" in front of them, as in "If this variable is not true..." 
 GUITARIST: Gotta say, {name_singer}... you're doing a great job. You're already a better bandleader than I ever was. 
 }
 
-SINGER: Thanks. But it's just words on a page without music. And they music is all you.
+SINGER: Thanks. But it's just words on a page without music. And the music is all you.
 
 BASSIST: Okay, I have to go a bit harder, here. 
 BASSIST: I was going to quit, but I joined this band to play with you. This is my last band, no matter what.
@@ -164,11 +169,11 @@ BASSIST: I was going to quit, but I joined this band to play with you. This is m
 }
 
 DRUMMER: Hey, so you pay money to rent this place. Maybe you'd like to practice.
-DRUMMER: Or you could emote some more. I'll just go into "bored" mode.
+DRUMMER: Or you could emote some more. I'll just go into "bored" mode. //hahaha!
 
-SINGER: No, don't. The snoring is so weird. We'll practice.
+SINGER: No, don't. The snoring is so weird. We'll practice. //Ha!
 
-{its_personal == "true": //HJ: Again, use the new variable or label here. 
+{its_personal:  
 SINGER: I just have to talk to {name_guitarist} first. Now.
     -> CONVO_GUITAR_APOLOGY  
 - else: 
@@ -176,18 +181,17 @@ SINGER: I just have to talk to {name_guitarist} first. Now.
     -> CONVO_GUITAR_ASSURANCE
 }
 
-= CONVO_GUITAR_APOLOGY //MK: The critic only pops up in GUITARIST_SOCIALS_ANTI, so I did this...
+= CONVO_GUITAR_APOLOGY //MK: The critic only pops up in GUITARIST_SOCIALS_ANTI, so I did this... //HJ: Works!
 SINGER: At the risk of obliterating forever my reputation for articulate and erudite lyricism...
-SINGER: What the hell is up your ass?!
+SINGER: What the hell is up your ass?! //ha!
 
 {
 - (vocals_moodtattoo == "Pro-Tattoo"):
 GUITARIST: Me? You forced me into a pro-tattoo stance, and now people expect me to get one!
 GUITARIST: You know how scared I am to show what's inside me, after what happened!
-GUITARIST: Was all of this shit just to be nice to mom?
+GUITARIST: Was all of this shit just to be nice to your mom?
 
 - (vocals_moodtattoo == "Anti-Tattoo"):
-
 GUITARIST: You made yourself look like a badass, but I'm getting called out by old critics.
 GUITARIST: It looks like the only thing I believe in is _not_ believing in something. 
 GUITARIST: You went your own way with this song, just to dunk on mommy. 
@@ -207,7 +211,7 @@ GUITAR: This is your thing, and I'm glad to be here. Thanks.
 
 SINGER: I know you're trying. I can see it. But you're still hung up on what you want for yourself. Sorry... but, I'm concerned.
 
--> CONVO_KEYS_BASSIST
+    -> CONVO_KEYS_BASSIST
 
 = CONVO_KEYS_BASSIST
 
@@ -226,7 +230,7 @@ BASSIST: I don't get my hopes up. Not anymore.
 {arc_keyboardist == "police":
 KEYBOARDIST: Please don't bring anyone else down. Some of us have never been in a band.
 - else: 
-KEYBOARDIST: That's not a {band_name} attitude! We can do better than that!
+KEYBOARDIST: That's not a {band_name} attitude! We can do better than that! //ha!
 }
 
 BASSIST: Okay. I'll try to keep the darkness on my own moods. Promise. 
@@ -237,7 +241,6 @@ KEYBOARDIST: And I promise I'll keep you upbeat.
 KEYBOARDIST: But I hope our messages can be a bit... bigger. 
 - else:
 KEYBOARDIST: I won't let the negativity of our first song get to me. 
-
 }
 KEYBOARDIST: How do I know if this band is the right fit for me?
 
@@ -257,12 +260,15 @@ KEYBOARDIST: Oh! (laughs)
 SINGER: And, in this band, I won't be the one who leaves early. 
 
 { 
-- (its_personal == "true") && (vocals_moodtattoo == "Pro-Tattoo"):
+- its_personal && (vocals_moodtattoo == "Pro-Tattoo"):
 GUITAR: And you're not the one who sounds like a fraud. Again. It doesn't feel good, you know?
+
 SINGER: You're only a fraud if you lie about what you feel. 
 SINGER: Do you feel badly because of what you did, or because you got caught?
-- (its_personal == "true") && (vocals_moodtattoo == "Anti-Tattoo"):
+
+- its_personal && (vocals_moodtattoo == "Anti-Tattoo"):
 GUITAR: And you're not the one who'll be carrying past mistakes around, forever. What do people want from me?
+
 SINGER: What do you want for yourself? To change, or just to forget about the past?
 }
 
@@ -276,6 +282,7 @@ GUITAR: I don't know what I believe in. I've never even talked about it. Or us.
 GUITAR: Maybe, if you want, we could grab a drink. Feels like we're starting to clear the air.
 
     + SINGER: Yeah. I'd like that.
+        ~ singer_guitar_grab_drink = true
         SINGER: If they're willing to try, I'm willing to help. #PRIVATE
         
     + SINGER: I don't think that's a good idea.

Level1/OUTCOME_WHALESONG.ink

@@ -249,10 +249,9 @@ GUITAR: Maybe you'd like to get a drink or something...
 
     + SINGER: Maybe. Maybe not. Let's try it and find out.
         SINGER: This might not be smart. But, I should try, too. #private
-        //HJ: This will need a story variable, but I haven't come up with one yet. 
+        ~ singer_guitar_grab_drink = true
     + SINGER: I don't think so. This is up to you.
         SINGER: I'm not getting pulled back into that vortex. #private
-        //HJ: Same here. Variable TBD!
     -
     -> SONG_TOPICS_L2 
     //HJ: I'm thinking that this scene actually leads right into the Level 2 Practice. All the characters are already in the Practice Room, and since the 2-on-2 conversations will be short and happen in the same space, it makes the most sense that the band starts practice now. 

Level1/POST_PERFORM_MOODTATTOOS.ink

@@ -9,10 +9,9 @@
 #AddChar: Keyboardist, Pose: neutral
 #AddChar: Drummer, Pose: neutral
 
-//MK: I'm not convinced that Singer would speak first if they'd switched lyrics, I gave this to Akai. If we're saying that the performance always goes well in the room, Singer could start this because they want to say "see? It worked!" So, I gave this to Akai for the moment.
-
 DRUMMER: LET'S GET WASTED!
-SINGER: I think Akai means "great first show!"
+
+SINGER: I think Akai means "Great first show!"
 
 {
 - (song_stance_L1 == "Pro-Tattoo") && (vocals_moodtattoo == "Anti-Tattoo"):
@@ -48,26 +47,28 @@ BASSIST: But I'm not into you just going rogue. At all.
         BASSIST: Okay. It's in the past. I hope it stays there.
         ~ mood++
     + BASSIST: That's just noise, and I don't like it. #PRIVATE 
-        BASSIST: If you pull this shit again, I'm gone. //MK: not sure if we can do this, but it makes sense for the character in this case. WhaleSong works regardless of stance. This song has two different messages.
+        BASSIST: If you pull this shit again, I'm gone. //MK: not sure if we can do this, but it makes sense for the character in this case. WhaleSong works regardless of stance. This song has two different messages. //HJ: I think we can do this!
         ~ mood--
     -
 
 GUITARIST: Yeah... well...
 
-    + GUITARIST: Glad this went my way. But, I can't admit that... #private
+    + GUITARIST: Glad this went my way. But, I can't admit that... #PRIVATE 
+        //HJ: ^^Because of the "I can't admit that...", I assume Guitar doesn't say this line aloud to the others, so put square brackets around it so doesn't show up after it's chosen. As I understand it, the #PRIVATE command keeps the choice private, but doesn't prevent it from showing up in the dialogue box unless we use the square brackets to signify that. 
         GUITARIST: I should be happy about this, but I'm not. This is not cool. 
         ~ mood++
-    + (PERSONAL) GUITARIST: I'm pissed off. This is personal. #PRIVATE 
+    + GUITARIST: I'm pissed off. This is personal. #PRIVATE 
+        //HJ: If the first choice is not said aloud, then this one shouldn't be either.
         GUITARIST: I guess all these votes are bullshit. We can do whatever we want. 
         GUITARIST: I'll remember that.
-        ~ its_personal = "true"
+        ~ its_personal = true //HJ: Fun coding thing to note - boolean (true/false) variables do not need quotation marks around the values. The quotation marks are just for string variable values. 
         ~ mood--
     -
 
 {
 - mood == 0: //Bassist and Guitarist had opposite responses and cancelled each other out
     KEYBOARDIST: I don't like this. Can it just be fine and we can move on? I say yes.
-    ~ band_unity +=1
+    // ~ band_unity +=1 HJ: For Whale Song, Keys smoothing things over felt like it warranted a +1, but Keys would really not be into the Anti Tattoo lyrics, so even though they prompt everyone to move on, I don't think that would raise the band unity in this case. So I've noted this variable out for now. We can come back and reevaluate later when we have all the songs done. 
 - mood == 2: //mood is positive 
     KEYBOARDIST: If you're all okay with this, so am I. 
     ~ band_unity +=2 
@@ -80,36 +81,35 @@ GUITARIST: Yeah... well...
 
 = DISSENT_STANCE_PRO
 ~ band_unity-- 
-//MK: I made these a bit less certain, because S didn't want to be pro-tattoo
+//MK: I made these a bit less certain, because S didn't want to be pro-tattoo //HJ: Great!
  
     + SINGER: This was the only positive option. #PRIVATE
         SINGER: Anti-tattoo messages just felt too negative. That's not us.
     + SINGER: I feel awful. I can't believe I did that. #PRIVATE
-        SINGER: I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I was afraid. I'm sorry.
+        SINGER: I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I was afraid. I'm sorry. //HJ: This response would definitely prompt the question, "What were you afraid of?" Singer doesn't have to answer; we'll find out about their mom later, but someone should at least ask.
     -
-~ temp mood = 0 
+// ~ temp mood = 0 //HJ: In this section, since Keys is not acting as the mood tie breaker, a temp variable doesn't make sense. Simply use the band_unity variable like we did in Whale Song DISSENT_STANCE_HUMAN.
+
 BASSIST: This isn't what we planned...
 
     + BASSIST: But it's only one song... #PRIVATE
          BASSIST: It's our first song. The crowd liked it. We'll outlive it. 
-        ~ mood++
+        ~ band_unity++
     + BASSIST: And on-stage surprises suck. #PRIVATE 
         BASSIST: {name_guitarist} is right. We were surprised. You're lucky we kept playing at all.
-        ~ mood--
+        ~ band_unity--
     -
 
     + GUITARIST: I'll be the bigger person, here. #PRIVATE
         GUITARIST: One of us has to rise above our petty personal gripes. I'll do it.
-        ~ mood++
+        ~ band_unity++
-    + (PERSONAL) GUITARIST: I didn't make this personal, but it is. #PRIVATE
+    + GUITARIST: I didn't make this personal, but it is. #PRIVATE
         GUITARIST: We can do whatever we want on stage. {name_singer} showed us that tonight.
-        ~ its_personal = "true"
+        ~ its_personal = true
-        ~ mood--
+        ~ band_unity--
     -
 
-//HJ: This is the Pro Tattoo stance, so Keys would have something to say since they're pro mood tattoo. Keys would also respond if Guitarist makes it personal. You can add a label to Guitarist's choices (okay, I just did that!), and use that label like a variable adjust Keys' response... 
+{its_personal: //HJ: We only need one thing to track this - either a choice label or a variable. I know I made the choice label, but since you set a variable, and that is an easier thing to track across the larger script, let's use the variable and cut the label. BTW, conditions are automatically checking if boolean variables are TRUE, so you don't need to write {its_personal == true: like you would for a string variable.
-
-{PERSONAL:
     KEYBOARDIST: We did what we wanted to do. We made people happy. Can we please focus on that?
     GUITARIST: Yeah. Well, I can. I won't speak for anyone else. 
 - else:
@@ -143,18 +143,18 @@ SINGER: What's surprising is you paying attention to reviews.
 
 KEYBOARDIST: You have a phone, {name_bassist}? 
 
-BASSIST: ... okay, I'm not a hermit.
+BASSIST: ... Okay, I'm not a hermit.
 
 {vocals_moodtattoo == "Anti-Tattoo":  
 
 BASSIST: Looks like we were not a hit with Upgraders. Apparently, our song was...
-BASSIST: "like a knuckle-dragging technophobe conspiracy screed from the Old World".
+BASSIST: "Like a knuckle-dragging technophobe conspiracy screed from the Old World".
 
-GUITAR: Poor Upgraders. We should have called the song "Turn Me Into a Toaster".
+GUITAR: Poor Upgraders. We should have called the song "Turn Me Into a Toaster". //ha!
 
 BASSIST: Come on. They aren't that bad. We _do_ need to evolve ourselves.
 
-KEYBOARDIST: The All-for-All Sezzit group is lit up. Everyone's cancelling their mood tattoos and booking therapy appointments. //MK: Sezzit...if we need a Reddit clone for this world. This does make me wonder about our fan groups need any introductions. So, I put a bit here. 
+KEYBOARDIST: The All-for-All Sezzit group is lit up. Everyone's cancelling their mood tattoos and booking therapy appointments. //MK: Sezzit...if we need a Reddit clone for this world. This does make me wonder about our fan groups need any introductions. So, I put a bit here. //HJ: Definitely a world building question! I have made a Task card to start tracking these questions in preparation for our Worldbuilding meeting with the Art Dept.
 SINGER: I thought the A4A crowd was all about group therapy already?
 
 KEYBOARDIST: We are. It's great! I just thought people could do both. 
@@ -166,9 +166,9 @@ SINGER: Wow, yeah. They banned us. They said we went against the whole vibe of t
 
 KEYBOARDIST: No! I don't like being banned!
 
-SINGER: It's okay, {name_keyboardist}. "Giving us the finger is pretty badass, though", so we're cool again.
+SINGER: It's okay, {name_keyboardist}. "Giving us the finger is pretty badass, though!", so we're cool again.
 
-BASSIST: Gotta say... this is a fun ride. 
+BASSIST: Gotta say... this is a fun ride. //ha!
 
 - else:
 
@@ -190,8 +190,8 @@ SINGER: Yeah... I don't usually go quite this huggy-wuggy. But, I'm glad to hear
 }
 GUITARIST: Not everyone was talking. Did we all see those brooders at the back of the room?
 
-BASSIST: Yeah. Unvoiced, I think. Didn't think "vow-of-silence" and "live music" went together. 
+BASSIST: Yeah. The Unvoiced, I think. Didn't think "vow-of-silence" and "live music" went together. //HJ: Consistency note - when referring to cult members or the cult as a whole, let's call them "The Unvoiced" with a capitalized "The". Sounds more culty to me that way. 
-//HJ: Here is a decent place for one of the characters (not Singer) to mention the strange silent people at the event, to set up The Unvoiced noise complaint letter for the OUTCOME scene.
+
     -> FAN_REACTIONS
     
 = FAN_REACTIONS 
@@ -200,6 +200,8 @@ DRUMMER: WE'RE NOT TOO LOUD. YOU'RE TOO OLD!
 DRUMMER: (sigh) I'm ready to go whenever you are.
 //NOTE: The team doesn't have time to design a social media interface for the CMF demo, so what I've done here is just split the characters out into their own screens and we'll write this as if they're on their devices reading the comments.
 
+But instead of leaving, everyone pulls out their phones... //HJ: Added a description line here. Feel free to funny it up; we just need to signify that the band ignores Akai's suggestion to leave and starts scrolling instead.
+
 #SPLITFLOW
 {
 - char_singer:  
@@ -234,88 +236,90 @@ DRUMMER: (sigh) I'm ready to go whenever you are.
     }
 }
 
+//NOTE: Don't need to use #PRIVATE hashtags in #SPLITFLOW when players are all on separate screens. #PRIVATE is for group scenes. We could use #THOUGHT to put lines in thought bubbles, but what would be easier is to code #SPLITFLOW so that character lines in here are always in thought bubbles. Note to self to bring that up to JP in 2 months when we're done LongStory 2...
+
 = SINGER_SOCIALS_ANTI
-SINGER: Oh, look at that. HearMeNot says I'm a "closed-minded fear monger". They're Unvoiced, for sure. #PRIVATE
+SINGER: Oh, look at that. HearMeNot says I'm a "closed-minded fear monger". They're Unvoiced, for sure. 
     + [Defend the song.]
         SINGER: "People should suspect and question anything that wants to keep them from speaking. We spoke that message, and it was heard."
         SINGER: "If the song wasn't for you, so be it."
-    + [Attack the Unvoiced.]
+    + [Attack The Unvoiced.]
-        SINGER: "Closed-minded is rejecting the spoken word and exiling anyone who dares to use one. 
+        SINGER: "Closed-minded is rejecting the spoken word and exiling anyone who dares to use one." 
-        SINGER: The Unvoiced embraces intolerance as well as silence."
+        SINGER: "The Unvoiced embraces intolerance as well as silence."
     -
-SINGER: Boom. #PRIVATE
+SINGER: Boom. #THOUGHT 
     -> LEAVE_VENUE
     
 = SINGER_SOCIALS_PRO
-SINGER: Free mood tattoo? For "fostering togetherness and emotional connection"? #PRIVATE
+SINGER: Free mood tattoo? For "fostering togetherness and emotional connection"? 
 
     + [Decline, politely.]
-        SINGER: "Thank you! I prefer using my voice to connect with people. I'm glad to see it worked with you." #PRIVATE
+        SINGER: "Thank you! I prefer using my voice to connect with people. I'm glad to see it worked with you." 
     + [Refuse, bluntly.]
-        SINGER: "Hard pass. The Unvoiced created these tattoos. I hate silence as much as I love connection." #PRIVATE
+        SINGER: "Hard pass. The Unvoiced created these tattoos. I hate silence as much as I love connection." 
-        SINGER: That... might confuse some people. I did just sing a pro-tattoo song. Oh, well. #private 
+        SINGER: That... might confuse some people. I did just sing a pro-tattoo song. Oh, well.  
     + [Don't respond.]
-        SINGER: Saying no might reflect poorly on the band. And I'd never say yes. #PRIVATE 
+        SINGER: Saying no might reflect poorly on the band. And I'd never say yes.
     -
     -> LEAVE_VENUE
 
 = GUITARIST_SOCIALS_ANTI
-GUITARIST: What the hell is this?! #PRIVATE
+GUITARIST: What the hell is this?! 
-GUITARIST: "As the face of the Politicats, {name_guitarist} didn't really believe in anything... #PRIVATE
+GUITARIST: "As the face of the Politicats, {name_guitarist} didn't really believe in anything... 
-GUITARIST: ... but is believing in _not_ doing something any better?" #PRIVATE
+GUITARIST: ... but is believing in _not_ doing something any better?" 
 
     + [Ignore them.]
-        GUITARIST: Probably won't reflect well on the band if I rip this asshole. #PRIVATE 
+        GUITARIST: Probably won't reflect well on the band if I rip this asshole. 
     + [Defend yourself.]
-        GUITARIST: "Those tats are a shitty fad. I believe in not doing something just because people want you to. So BALLS YEAH, it's better." #PRIVATE
+        GUITARIST: "Those tats are a shitty fad. I believe in not doing something just because people want you to. So BALLS YEAH, it's better." 
     -
     -> LEAVE_VENUE
 
 = GUITARIST_SOCIALS_PRO
-GUITARIST: "Your onstage aura needs its own light show!" Yeah, damn right... #PRIVATE 
+GUITARIST: "Your onstage aura needs its own light show!" Yeah, damn right...  
-GUITARIST: "...so we'd love to give you a free mood tattoo." Oh, shit. I can't say "hell, no" now... #PRIVATE
+GUITARIST: "...so we'd love to give you a free mood tattoo." Oh, shit. I can't say "hell, no" now... 
 
     + [Book a tattoo appointment!]
-        GUITARIST: "Warm up the needle. I'm on my way!" #private
+        GUITARIST: "Warm up the needle. I'm on my way!" 
-        GUITARIST: Screw it. I've changed. Time to show it. #PRIVATE 
+        GUITARIST: Screw it. I've changed. Time to show it. 
     + [Put it off.]
-        GUITARIST: Uh.... "Busy giggin' but I'll get back to you ASAP." #PRIVATE 
+        GUITARIST: Uh.... "Busy giggin' but I'll get back to you ASAP." 
-        GUITARIST: There. They'll forget about it. And so will I. #PRIVATE 
+        GUITARIST: There. They'll forget about it. And so will I. 
     -
     -> LEAVE_VENUE
     
 = BASSIST_SOCIALS_ANTI
-BASSIST: Creepy anonymous DM. Mysterious. #private
+BASSIST: Creepy anonymous DM. Mysterious. 
-BASSIST: "So who's behind Mood Tattoos? What do you know?" I can just see this person chain-smoking. #PRIVATE
+BASSIST: "So who's behind Mood Tattoos? What do you know?" I can just see this person chain-smoking. 
 
     + [Who cares? It's a song.]
-        BASSIST: "Everything is connected. Everything is twisted. That's what I know. It's all in the song." #PRIVATE
+        BASSIST: "Everything is connected. Everything is twisted. That's what I know. It's all in the song." 
     + [Confirm the conspiracy.]
-        BASSIST: "Does it matter who Big Tattoo is? They want to know what you're feeling all the time. That's messed up, and we have to fight it." #PRIVATE
+        BASSIST: "Does it matter who Big Tattoo is? They want to know what you're feeling all the time. That's messed up, and we have to fight it." 
     -
-BASSIST: I'd love to blow the lid off of this. But if anyone should out the Unvoiced, it's {name_singer}. #PRIVATE 
+BASSIST: I'd love to blow the lid off of this. But if anyone should out The Unvoiced, it's {name_singer}.  
     -> LEAVE_VENUE
 
 = BASSIST_SOCIALS_PRO
 BASSIST: "Free mood tattoo", huh? 
 
     + [No.]
-        BASSIST: Probably better that people don't see my mood all the time. #PRIVATE
+        BASSIST: Probably better that people don't see my mood all the time. 
     + [Yeah, sure.]
-        BASSIST: ... as long I can hide it. I like being mysterious. #PRIVATE
+        BASSIST: ... as long I can hide it. I like being mysterious. 
     -
 
     -> LEAVE_VENUE
 
 = KEYS_SOCIALS_ANTI
-KEYBOARDIST: "Get a mood tattoo. Then judge them. I dare you!" This is aggressive. #private
+KEYBOARDIST: "Get a mood tattoo. Then judge them. I dare you!" This is aggressive. 
 
     + [Accept the challenge.]
-        KEYBOARDIST: I wanted one, anyway. I'll show the band how fun they are. #PRIVATE 
+        KEYBOARDIST: I wanted one, anyway. I'll show the band how fun they are.  
         ~ arc_keyboardist = "chearlead"
     + [Admit you love mood tattoos.]
         KEYBOARDIST: "{band_name} is judging! {name_keyboardist} loves mood tattoos!"
-        KEYBOARDIST: This band is grim. I gotta fix that. #PRIVATE 
+        KEYBOARDIST: This band is grim. I gotta fix that.  
         The band needs to cheer up!
         ~ arc_keyboardist = "police"
     -
@@ -327,11 +331,11 @@ KEYBOARDIST: Oh. My. Everything.
 KEYBOARDIST: "Free mood tattoo to the first {name_keyboardist} of {band_name} to visit our shop!"
 
     + [Accept and lie about age.]
-        KEYBOARDIST: "The other {name_keyboardist}s might have to hide it from their parents, but not this {name_keyboardist}!" #PRIVATE
+        KEYBOARDIST: "The other {name_keyboardist}s might have to hide it from their parents, but not this {name_keyboardist}!" 
-        KEYBOARDIST: Ugh. That was so obvious. I probably should hide it, though. #PRIVATE
+        KEYBOARDIST: Ugh. That was so obvious. I probably should hide it, though.
     + [Admit you're too young.]
-        KEYBOARDIST: "Hey, thanks! I turn 18 soon, and I'll bring my own cake!" #PRIVATE
+        KEYBOARDIST: "Hey, thanks! I turn 18 soon, and I'll bring my own cake!" 
-        KEYBOARDIST: I'll manage the band's vibe without it. For now. #PRIVATE
+        KEYBOARDIST: I'll manage the band's vibe without it. For now. 
     -
     -> LEAVE_VENUE
 

Level1/PRACTICE_MOODTATTOOS.ink

@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 === PRACTICE_MOODTATTOOS ===
 KEYBOARDIST: We should get mood tattoos for the show! Smiley faces! Or a happy sun?
 
-GUITARIST: Those are very "rock and roll" options. 
+GUITARIST: Those are very "rock and roll" options. //NOTE for Art: We'll need a sarcastic expression for Guitarist and Bassist. Keys and Singer likely don't need sarcastic.
 GUITARIST: But you're assuming we're all pro-tattoo. 
 
 KEYBOARDIST: We should be! They totally promote deeper connections and reduce conflict. Science says so.
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ SINGER: What about the people who created Mood Tattoos? Why do they _want_ peopl
 
 KEYBOARDIST: We should at least be open with each other. Are we for, or against, Mood Tattoos?
 
-DRUMMER: I know humans prefer to argue, but you should vote.
+DRUMMER: I know humans prefer to argue, but you should vote. //ha!
 
 #SPLITFLOW
 
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ GUITARIST: If I am lying to myself, I don't want to know. Or tell.
 
 = BASSIST_THOUGHTS
 BASSIST: {name_singer} really doesn't like mood tattoos. But, warning people away from them seems paranoid.
-BASSIST: Unless there's a conspiracy they want to blow up. That sounds fun. But, so does watching liars get called out.
+BASSIST: Unless there's a conspiracy {pronouns_singer == "enby": they want|{pronouns_singer == "masc": he|she} wants} to blow up. That sounds fun. But, so does watching liars get called out. //HJ: I was going to suggest using the name_singer variable again because that is simplest, but then I figured out how to check all 3 pronouns IN LINE without making a conditional block. So, thanks for prompting me to figure that out!
     -> VOTE_TIME
     
 = KEYBOARDIST_THOUGHTS
@@ -228,7 +228,7 @@ KEYBOARDIST: I wish I was old enough to get a tattoo. I wish I could lie about b
 = DRUMMER_CHOICE
 ~ band_unity-- //band couldn't agree, so band unity drops. 
 DRUMMER: You couldn't agree, so I have to break the tie. 
-DRUMMER: This would be awkward if you had your tattoos already... 
+DRUMMER: This would be awkward if you had your tattoos already... //ha!
 
 {shuffle: 
 - 
@@ -265,12 +265,13 @@ DRUMMER: You're telling people to Come Get a Mood Tattoo!
 
     + [I can't do that.]
         SINGER: I don't want to sing something I don't believe in. And I definitely don't want to help the Unvoiced.  #THOUGHT
-    + [I'll make this my own.] //MK: I'm thinking this can be a choice reaction, but it's still not really going to work out later...
+    + [I'll make this my own.] //MK: I'm thinking this can be a choice reaction, but it's still not really going to work out later... //HJ: For sure, but the wording of this makes it sound as if Singer is going to break ranks a bit, like Singer isn't a team player. But I think what Singer really means is, "I don't like it, but I'll work with it." Shorter version: "I can work with that." As opposed to the first choice which is a blunt refusal. 
         SINGER: I'll make mood tattoos sound like a communication tool. Not a replacement for spoken words. #THOUGHT
     -
     
 {DRUMMER_CHOICE: 
     SINGER: I should have rigged this vote. #THOUGHT
+    //HJ: Hmm... it's not the vote but Akai's random shuffle program that Singer should have rigged. Something about wishing they'd preprogammed Akai to choose DON'T Get a Tattoo.
 }
     -> MOODTATTOOS_STEMS
 
@@ -278,7 +279,7 @@ DRUMMER: You're telling people to Come Get a Mood Tattoo!
 //MK: Guitar didn't want tattoos, but waffled a bit
 
 {DRUMMER_CHOICE: 
-    GUITARIST: Does Akai secretl want a mood...paint job? #THOUGHT 
+    GUITARIST: Does Akai secretly want a mood...paint job? #THOUGHT 
 }
     + [I hate this.]
         GUITARIST: This comeback could be over before it starts if I get one of these things. #THOUGHT 
@@ -291,15 +292,15 @@ DRUMMER: You're telling people to Come Get a Mood Tattoo!
 = BASSIST_FEELS_COMEGET
 
     + [This will be so satisfying.]
-        BASSIST: I hope every bullshit artist get's cornered into getting a mood tattoo. #THOUGHT 
+        BASSIST: I hope every bullshit artist gets cornered into getting a mood tattoo. #THOUGHT 
         BASSIST: If only my dickhead first manager had had one. #THOUGHT
     + [Whatever.]
         BASSIST: The drama will be fun to watch... #THOUGHT 
-        BASSIST: But I wonder if Singer could have pulled off a paranoia anthem. #THOUGHT 
+        BASSIST: But I wonder if {name_singer} could have pulled off a paranoia anthem. #THOUGHT 
     -
     
 {DRUMMER_CHOICE:
-    BASSIST: Akai probably wants robots to recognize human lies. #THOUGHT 
+    BASSIST: Akai probably wants robots to be able to recognize human lies. Smart. #THOUGHT 
 }
     -> MOODTATTOOS_STEMS
     
@@ -307,10 +308,10 @@ DRUMMER: You're telling people to Come Get a Mood Tattoo!
 
     + [Yes! YES!]
         KEYBOARDIST: If you're happy and you know it... then, we will also know it! #THOUGHT 
-        KEYBOARDIST: If you're happy and you know it, get a tat! #THOUGHT //ha!
+        KEYBOARDIST: If you're happy and you know it, get a tat! #THOUGHT 
     + [I wish everyone was excited.]
         KEYBOARDIST: Their mood tattoos are probably going to be, like, beige. All the time. #THOUGHT 
-    -
+    - //Hahahahahaha! Love the voice you've created for Keys!
     
 {DRUMMER_CHOICE:
     KEYBOARDIST: I'm glad Akai can choose, so we don't start fighting. #THOUGHT 
@@ -341,7 +342,7 @@ DRUMMER: Tell people NOT to get a mood tattoo!
 
     + [That's a relief.]
         SINGER: I didn't want to sing something I don't feel. #THOUGHT 
-    + [I'm going to make this hurt.]
+    + [I'm going to make this hurt.] //HJ: As a choice, this line is a bit too vague to mean anything to the player. Try something more specific, like, "Time to hit back at The Unvoiced!" so that players know what this choice means and why they'd choose it. 
         SINGER: This isn't how I thought I'd hit back at the Unvoiced, but I'll take it. #THOUGHT 
     + [I'm worried this is too negative.]
         SINGER: I hope I can still make "don't do this" sound fun. #THOUGHT 
@@ -352,11 +353,11 @@ DRUMMER: Tell people NOT to get a mood tattoo!
 = GUITARIST_FEELS_DONTGET
 //MK: again - I think Guitarist is waffling.
 
-    + [Good. No broadcasting these feelings.] //MK: maybe this is redundant... 
+    + [Good. No broadcasting these feelings.] 
         GUITARIST: Okay, maybe I am hiding. And maybe I don't care. #THOUGHT 
     + [What if I really have changed?]
         GUITARIST: A mood tattoo would shut everyone up. #THOUGHT 
-    + [I'm safe. But, this won't be a hit.] //MK: I think this is better. They'd feel relived, but a bit concerned about a negative song bringing people down. 
+    + [I'm safe. But, this won't be a hit.] 
         GUITARIST: "Don't Do That" has never cracked any top ten. #THOUGHT 
     - 
     
@@ -366,12 +367,12 @@ DRUMMER: Tell people NOT to get a mood tattoo!
 
     + [This song is pointless.]  
         BASSIST: Why make a song telling people to do nothing? #THOUGHT 
-    + [I'll trust singer's approach.]
+    + [I'll trust {name_singer}'s approach.]
         BASSIST: {name_singer} is smart. They must have something to expose. Let's see. #THOUGHT 
     -
     
 {DRUMMER_CHOICE:
-    BASSIST - Akai must think human problems are stupid. Well, they are. #THOUGHT 
+    BASSIST: Akai must think human problems are stupid. Well, they are. #THOUGHT 
 }
     -> MOODTATTOOS_STEMS
 
@@ -384,21 +385,21 @@ DRUMMER: Tell people NOT to get a mood tattoo!
     - 
     
 {DRUMMER_CHOICE:
-    KEYBOARDIST: Aw. Akai would love a cool mood indicator light. #THOUGHT  //haha!
+    KEYBOARDIST: Aw. Akai would love a cool mood indicator light. #THOUGHT  
 }
     -> MOODTATTOOS_STEMS
     
-=== MOODTATTOOS_STEMS === //MK: so, what you have on the Miro for each character is good, so rather than put it in place for the outline, I left a description of the general feeling they'd have about each one. 
+=== MOODTATTOOS_STEMS ===  
 #REJOIN
-DRUMMER: Simple beats for a simple message.
+DRUMMER: While you all were reacting to the vote, I created two simple beats for a simple message. //HJ: I added the line from WhaleSong to the beginning of this line for a smoother transition out of the players' private screens. 
 DRUMMER: We can get people dancing... 
-#PlayMusic: drums_whalesong_comeget
+#PlayMusic: drums_moodtattoo_pro
 
 DRUMMER: Or, we can go all minimalist...
-#PlayMusic: drums_whalesong_dontget
+#PlayMusic: drums_moodtattoo_anti
 
 {song_stance_L1 == "Pro-Tattoo": 
-//MK: went with what they're feeling would be based on how the stem actually sounds. Included Singer here because they don't like this stance. Tried leaving Guitar on the outside this time, since they're only worried about themselves.
+//MK: went with what they're feeling would be based on how the stem actually sounds. Included Singer here because they don't like this stance. Tried leaving Guitar on the outside this time, since they're only worried about themselves. //HJ: Good call!
     KEYBOARDIST: I love the dancey one! 
     SINGER: It's fun, for sure. But should it sound like a party? That's a bit commercial. 
     BASSIST: Yeah, but we don't want to sound like we're inviting people into a deadly trap. At least, I assume we don't.
@@ -407,7 +408,7 @@ DRUMMER: Or, we can go all minimalist...
     KEYBOARDIST: That minimalist beat is a bit ominious. I'm already worried.
     SINGER: Well, we want to steer people away from mood tattoos. But, we could make a fun "don't do it" song. 
     BASSIST: If we're going dark, we should go dark. A warning is a warning.
-    BASSIST: ...let me know if I should say any other words twice.
+    BASSIST: ... Let me know if I should say any other words twice.
 }
 
 GUITAR: They're both good options, right? Let's just vote. 
@@ -594,11 +595,10 @@ DRUMMER: LET'S DANCE!
 
 = CHOOSE_MUSIC_STEMS
 DRUMMER: Well. I've done my part...
-DRUMMER: ...entering Sleep Mode.
+DRUMMER: ...entering Sleep Mode. //ha!
 
 SINGER: Rude. I guess it's our turn, now. 
 #SPLITFLOW
-//Players go into private screens to play their musical parts and decide which to choose. 
 
 {
 - char_singer:  
@@ -614,76 +614,82 @@ SINGER: Rude. I guess it's our turn, now.
     -> KEYS_STEMS
 }
 
-//HJ: When the players choose to play a stem, a line of dialogue will pop up about how the character feels about this music stem. I've filled in these lines because I rewrote this part back in November to get my head around them, but feel free to revise so they fit the characters' voices better. 
+/* BIG NOTE!!!
-//NOTE: UI/UX for this just has 2 buttons on screen, with a dialogue bubble. For it to make sense in ink, I wrote it like this, but we'll need to actually talk about how the engine needs to interpret this section. 
+
+HJ: I renamed all the stem choices to make it clear that they are simple visual buttons, not text choices. Also, I've learned that in the UX code, Keana names the buttons whatever we put between these square brackets, so short and sweet and consistent across songs & levels is best!
+
+HJ: Now that you know the buttons won't have bespoke text lines on them, a few of the character thoughts need to be revised to respond to the SOUND of the music stem, rather than the stem's description (which players can't see). So, Keyboardist's responses are perfect: "This is a sound for a brighter world!" or "This one is sneaky." <- Okay, maybe I'd revise that to "This sounds sneaky." But Singer's first thought, "I can't help the Unvoiced with this." doesn't really make sense as a first response. Nor does Guitarist's "Maybe something downbeat?" <- That one's an easy fix; you could simply add, "Too wistful." to the beginning of that line. So, go through and revise the character's reactions to their musical parts. And remember, we can't predict what order players will press the buttons in, or how often. In other words, there's no guarantee they'll press A first, so B shouldn't call out how B sounds in comparison to A, or vice versa. 
+
+*/
 
 = VOCAL_STEMS //MK: The lyrics make no mention of the Unvoiced, and lean on the corporate conspiracy angle. Overall, the corp angle, if real, should affect Bass and Keys, too. I can do that. //HJ: Yeah, this song was written before we even knew the cult would be involved! But I don't think Singer would call out the cult in the lyrics anyway, so this works. 
 
-    + [Encourage Mood Tattoos.]
+    + [PLAY-A] //Encourage Mood Tattoos
         #PlayMusic: vocals_moodtattoo_pro
+        //HJ: Idea! Singer's thoughts could be a little like they're humming the lyrics to themselves and reacting directly to them. For example, SINGER: "We’re taking care of you..." Ugh. Are we, though?
         SINGER: {&I can't help the Unvoiced with this.|So, I'll preach communication.|People can see each other, and still talk to each other.|I'm still not sure about this.} 
         -> VOCAL_STEMS
-    + [Hate on Mood Tattoos.]
+    + [PLAY-B] //Hate On Mood Tattoos 
         #PlayMusic: vocals_moodtattoo_anti
         SINGER: {&People _should_ be afraid of these tattoos.|We should ask _why_ they exist in the first place.|This company doesn't do anything else. What do they want?|Maybe we can force the Unvoiced to admit their role.}
         -> VOCAL_STEMS
-    + [Choose Come Get a Mood Tattoo.]
+    + [CHOOSE-A] //Choose Come Get a Mood Tattoo.
         ~ vocals_moodtattoo = "Pro-Tattoo"
         -> MOODTATTOOS_JAM
-    + [Choose Don't Get a Mood Tattoo.]
+    + [CHOOSE-B] //Choose Don't Get a Mood Tattoo.
         ~ vocals_moodtattoo = "Anti-Tattoo"
         -> MOODTATTOOS_JAM
     
 = GUITAR_STEMS
 
-    + [Play a wistful guitar.]
+    + [PLAY-A] //Play a wistful guitar.
         #PlayMusic: guitar_moodtattoo_pro
         GUITARIST: {&Maybe something downbeat?|How you feel when you miss something.|Wow, cheer up, {name_guitarist}. This is the positive one.|Well, people _will_ have to apologize for their moods.}
-        -> GUITAR_STEMS //MK: I guess this was in Whale Song, too. Shouldn't this direct back to THESE stems?
+        -> GUITAR_STEMS 
-    + [Play moody guitar.]
+    + [PLAY-B] //Play moody guitar.
         #PlayMusic: guitar_moodtattoo_anti
         GUITARIST: {&Okay...I want to warn people.|This is serious. It's real. It's for everyone to see.|No more secrets with a mood tattoo.|We all have something to hide.}
         -> GUITAR_STEMS
-    + [Choose wistful riff.]
+    + [CHOOSE-A] //Choose wistful riff.
         ~ guitar_moodtattoo = "Pro-Tattoo"
         -> MOODTATTOOS_JAM
-    + [Choose moody riff.]
+    + [CHOOSE-B] //Choose moody riff.
         ~ guitar_moodtattoo = "Anti-Tattoo"
         -> MOODTATTOOS_JAM
     
-= BASS_STEMS //MK: The Bass stem for Come Get... is almost non-existent for the first 30 seconds, so I'm referencing that part that's active. My worry is that the player may think something is wrong with the audio and stop listening. I did. //HJ: Don't worry, the stems the players listen to are shorter, and we'll make sure the more active part is what they hear.
+= BASS_STEMS 
 
-    + [Play stealthy bass.]
+    + [PLAY-A] //Play stealthy bass.
         #PlayMusic: bass_moodtattoo_pro
         BASSIST: #PlayMusic: vocals_whalesong_human
-        SINGER: {&Nice and subtle.|Then...surprise!|Everyone else is here. And you can see what they feel.|Be sure it's what you want, because it's a bigger deal than you think.}
+        SINGER: {&Nice and subtle. Then...surprise!|Everyone else is here. And you can see what they feel.|Be sure it's what you want, because it's a bigger deal than you think.}
         -> BASS_STEMS
-    + [Play insistent bass.]
+    + [PLAY-B] //Play insistent bass.
         #PlayMusic: bass_moodtattoo_anti
         BASSIST:{&What if something's chasing you?|Are you sure it's what you want?|It's a bigger deal than you think.|It's not jsut for you...it's for everyone else.}
         -> BASS_STEMS
-    + [Choose stealthy bass.]
+    + [CHOOSE-A] //Choose stealthy bass.
         ~ bass_moodtattoo = "Pro-Tattoo"
         -> MOODTATTOOS_JAM
-    + [Choose insistent bass.]
+    + [CHOOSE-B] //Choose insistent bass.
         ~ bass_moodtattoo = "Anti-Tattoo"
         -> MOODTATTOOS_JAM
 
     
 = KEYS_STEMS
 
-    + [Play an aspirational tune.]
+    + [PLAY-A] //Play an aspirational tune.
         #PlayMusic: keys_moodtattoo_pro
-        KEYBOARDIST: {&This is a sound for a brighter world|Something to be part of!|Yeah, this sounds the way a positive choice feels.|No one will be alone.}
+        KEYBOARDIST: {&This is a sound for a brighter world!|Something to be part of!|Yeah, this sounds the way a positive choice feels.|No one will be alone.}
         -> KEYS_STEMS
-    + [Play a sneaky tune.]
+    + [PLAY-B] //Play a sneaky tune.
         #PlayMusic: keys_moodtattoo_anti
         KEYBOARDIST: {&This one is sneaky.|It isn't really about the tattoos.| It's about what's inside you.| And maybe you're afraid of that? Oh, no!}
         -> KEYS_STEMS
-    + [Choose aspirational tune.]
+    + [CHOOSE-A] //Choose aspirational tune.
         ~ keys_moodtattoo = "Pro-Tattoo"
         -> MOODTATTOOS_JAM
-    + [Choose sneaky tune.]
+    + [CHOOSE-B] //Choose sneaky tune.
         ~ keys_moodtattoo = "Anti-Tattoo"
         -> MOODTATTOOS_JAM
 
@@ -691,9 +697,9 @@ SINGER: Rude. I guess it's our turn, now.
 === MOODTATTOOS_JAM ===
 #REJOIN
 DRUMMER: ARE YOU READY TO---
-DRUMMER: (sigh) Rock. And yes, you are. That's why we're here. 
+DRUMMER: (sigh) Rock. And yes, you are. That's why we're here. //ha!
 
-KEYBOARDIST: It's okay, Akai. We know you're trying to control it. 
+KEYBOARDIST: It's okay, Akai. We know you're trying to control it. //love 
 
 DRUMMER: ... Thanks. Okay, let's jam.
 
@@ -722,15 +728,18 @@ SINGER: I hope this works. People probably haven't even thought about the tattoo
 
 KEYBOARDIST: Should we?! You really seem to hate these tattoos a lot. Why?
 
-SINGER: ... they just... I guess I don't like the pressure to get them.
+SINGER: ... They just... I guess I don't like the pressure to get them.
 
 BASSIST: This is cool. I thought you'd have a conspiracy angle. Let's expose it.
     -> LOCKED_SONG 
     
 = COME_GET_TATTOO
 SINGER: I'm sorry. This is the best I can do. I can't sing what I don't believe, so this is what's left.
-BASSIST: It's good. Feels like a hug. And some greasy bastards will be lired in and exposed.
+
+BASSIST: It's good. Feels like a hug. And some greasy bastards will be lired in and exposed. //HJ: lired??
+
 KEYBOARDIST: I love it! And just because of the hug thing. Not the greasy bastard thing. 
+
 GUITAR: Just so everyone knows. I do _not_ want to get one of these tattoos. That's all.
 
     -> LOCKED_SONG 
@@ -742,11 +751,14 @@ GUITAR: Just so everyone knows. I do _not_ want to get one of these tattoos. Tha
     KEYBOARDIST: That was so scary, {name_singer}. Why would you do this?
     
     BASSIST: Yeah, I'm down to call out a corporate conspiracy, but that's not what we're doing. Right?
+    
     GUITARIST: Let's hear {name_singer} out. But I'm good with it, for one. 
     
 - else:
     BASSIST: Are you trying to be ironic, {name_singer}? 'Cause people might miss that. 
+    
     GUITARIST: Hey! If I have to suck it up and play, why do you get to go against the band?
+    
     KEYBOARDIST: Are you... making fun of people? Are you making fun of me?
    
 }
@@ -829,7 +841,10 @@ DRUMMER: Are you locked in? Or do you want to change something?
     
 = LOCKED_SONG
 SINGER: And that's a wrap on practice. We're ready for Read Only.
+
 KEYBOARDIST: Has anyone played that place before?
+
 BASSIST: Yeah. It's... kinda grumpy. But fun. If you're grumpy.
-KEYBOARDIST: ... oh.
+
+KEYBOARDIST: ... Oh.
     -> PERFORMANCE_WHALESONG

Level1/PRACTICE_WHALESONG.ink

@@ -629,69 +629,69 @@ DRUMMER: Now you can write your parts. You'll need more time, of course.
 
 = VOCAL_STEMS
 
-    + [Sing human language lyrics.]
+    + [PLAY-A] //Sing human-only lyrics.
         #PlayMusic: vocals_whalesong_human
-        SINGER: {&I'd rather stick to human lyrics.|Will the whales connect with human lyrics?|It's an important message no matter what language it's in.|"Say it don’t spray it" - seriously!}
+        SINGER: {&I'd rather stick to these human lyrics.|Will the whales connect with human lyrics?|It's an important message no matter what language it's in.|"Say it don’t spray it" - seriously!}
         -> VOCAL_STEMS
-    + [Sing Whaleish lyrics.]
+    + [PLAY-B] //Sing Whaleish lyrics.
         #PlayMusic: vocals_whalesong_whaleish
         SINGER: {&The whales will love this, IF I can sing it.|I'll be the first person ever to sing in Whaleish.|I learned Whaleish from a human. I hope they were right.|Ugh, my Whaleish probably sounds like Seal by now.}
         -> VOCAL_STEMS
-    + [Choose human lyrics.]
+    + [CHOOSE-A]
         ~ vocals_whalesong = "Human"
         -> WHALESONG_JAM
-    + [Choose Whaleish lyrics.]
+    + [CHOOSE-B]
         ~ vocals_whalesong = "Whaleish"
         -> WHALESONG_JAM
     
 = GUITAR_STEMS
 
-    + [Play rocking guitar solo.]
+    + [PLAY-A] //Play rocking guitar solo.
         #PlayMusic: guitar_whalesong_human
         GUITARIST: {& It wouldn't be a "me" track without a solo.|{name_singer} always preferred the spotlight on me. Probably still does.|Sorry, whales. I do the whaling.}
         -> GUITAR_STEMS
-    + [Play backup whaley guitar.]
+    + [PLAY-B] //Play backup whaley guitar.
         #PlayMusic: guitar_whalesong_whaleish
-        GUITARIST: {&This riff is whaley, but doesn't rock like the other one.|I wanna debut with a solo that rocks, but...|This whaley riff will prove I care most about the message, not myself.}
+        GUITARIST: {&This riff is whaley, but doesn't rock.|I wanna debut with a solo that rocks, but...|This whaley riff will prove I care most about the message, not myself.}
         -> GUITAR_STEMS
-    + [Choose rocking solo.]
+    + [CHOOSE-A]
         ~ guitar_whalesong = "Human"
         -> WHALESONG_JAM
-    + [Choose whaley guitar.]
+    + [CHOOSE-B]
         ~ guitar_whalesong = "Whaleish"
         -> WHALESONG_JAM
     
 = BASS_STEMS 
 
-    + [Play pop bass.]
+    + [PLAY-A] //Play pop bass.
         #PlayMusic: bass_whalesong_human
         BASSIST: {&Everyone likes a classic bassline.|But is this deep enough to penetrate the ocean?|This bassline might not be salty enough for the whales.}
         -> BASS_STEMS
-    + [Play deep oceany bass.]
+    + [PLAY-B] //Play deep oceany bass.
         #PlayMusic: bass_whalesong_whaleish
         BASSIST: {&Smooth. Like a whale. I think whales are smooth.|Might as well dive deep.|This bassline evokes whale power.}
         -> BASS_STEMS
-    + [Choose pop bass.]
+    + [CHOOSE-A] //Choose pop bass.
         ~ bass_whalesong = "Human"
         -> WHALESONG_JAM
-    + [Choose deep oceany bass.]
+    + [CHOOSE-B] //Choose deep oceany bass.
         ~ bass_whalesong = "Whaleish"
         -> WHALESONG_JAM
     
 = KEYS_STEMS
 
-    + [Play pop chords.]
+    + [PLAY-A] //Play pop chords.
         #PlayMusic: keys_whalesong_human
         KEYS: {&Simple and safe. But still fun, I hope.|Will our cetacean siblings like these chords?|Maybe whaley harmonics are better.}
         -> KEYS_STEMS
-    + [Play whaley harmonics.]
+    + [PLAY-B] //Play whaley harmonics.
         #PlayMusic: keys_whalesong_whaleish
         KEYS: {&Cool! Synthesized whale sounds to harmonize with the vocals!|No such thing as too much whale!|THIS will Float the Vote!}
         -> KEYS_STEMS
-    + [Choose pop chords.]
+    + [CHOOSE-A] //Choose pop chords.
         ~ keys_whalesong = "Human"
         -> WHALESONG_JAM
-    + [Choose whaley harmonics.]
+    + [CHOOSE-B] //Choose whaley harmonics.
         ~ keys_whalesong = "Whaleish"
         -> WHALESONG_JAM
 

MAIN_Bandocracy.ink

@@ -109,6 +109,7 @@ VAR whalesong_whaleish_count = 0
 // *** STORY VARIABLES ***
 VAR band_knows_about_singer_mom = false 
 VAR its_personal = false //MK: Guitar thinks Singer made it personal by changing lyrics in Mood Tattoos
+VAR singer_guitar_grab_drink = false //Singer agrees to continue convo with Guitar over drinks at the end of Level 1.
 
 === ONBOARDING ===
 #PlayerControlUntil: OnboardingComplete, JumpToPath: OPENING